Dancing Lilies
by randomgirloutthere110
Summary: James lost himself in the world of popularity, so Harry and Ginny send him down memory lane, back to a small Muggle town called Savage Springs. There he is reunited with dancing lilies, old time songs, and a fimillar face he once swore he loved. James/OC DISCONTINUED
1. Prologue

**I don't own Harry Potter.**

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Softly, the wind blew, and we walked against its path. We walked up that large, rolling, green hill. It was our place up there. No one could find us. I loved it that way. I could escape from all the reporters that followed Dad and Mum around. I hated them and their cameras and their notebooks, constantly following us. They would never stop asking questions. They just talked and talked and talked. It's hard to forget how they snapped picture after picture, after picture. It was like they were trying to capture every little aspect of our lives. Mum told me that they did that, because they needed to know every lie we told, strike of pain we went through, and every fight that we lived through. She said some were rather nice, and wouldn't be doing it if it weren't their jobs, but others weren't as nice and they did it for themselves. Dad and Mum both had jobs, and they didn't do anything like that. Why did those people do it us?

We reached the top of the hill, and the breeze was still blowing. I looked around me, knowing that this was the last time I'd ever see this place. Our vacation was over, much to my disappointment. I didn't want it to be over, though. It couldn't be over. I may have been only seven, but I was sure that I loved her with all my heart. However, when I told Dad about this, he just smiled at me and said, "James, you may think you love her, but soon you will find that there is even stronger love out there, and you will share it with a different girl. I know it will hurt now, but you'll see how life has its way of always working itself out."

I cringed a bit, as I remembered that horrid discussion. Dad was wrong- I was meant to spend my whole life with her, and that was what I still wanted to do. They were pulling us farther and farther apart and I hated it. Suddenly, I felt soft skin brush against my hand, and then fingers locked themselves around mine. All the thoughts I had about that day were flushed away. I grabbed her hand and smiled at her, and she smiled back at me. As I looked at her, my heart flutter to its own musical beat, and I loved every second of it. I knew, at that moment, that my heart would never be the same until I found her again.

Her blonde hair lay on her shoulders perfectly, well, as perfectly as a seven-year-old's hair could lie. It resembled a waterfall, made of gold. Oh so silky and shiny. It stayed in a straight line all the time, continuing all the way to her mid-back. Nothing was more breathtaking to me. I didn't understand the feelings that went through my body when I was with her, but I assumed it was love. That electrifying, jaw dropping, outrageous feeling that swarms through your body -head to toe- and warms every inch of you. I never wanted it to go away.

What I loved most about her was her green eyes. It may seem that I was bitter, because I didn't have my father's eyes, and she was the only way I could have them- my solution. She had emerald eyes that shined so bright when she smiled that my heart did this flip-flop thing, but somehow managed to stay inside my chest. She said that my eyes reminded her of chocolate. She liked chocolate. I really loved her eyes when she looked at me, kind of like the way she was doing now. As they sparkled, a crystal color mixed in with the green, making them more lovely.

"James, I don't want you to go…" She whispered softly to me, squeezing onto my hand even tighter as she looked down at the ground. She loved the hilltop like I did; it was filled with Lilies, which were her favorite flower. I found that funny, because my sister and grandma were both named Lily, but it didn't bother me. She told me this story, about how the flowers came to life and danced when there was a full moon, to the owl's harmonic hooting. The Lilies favorite sound was the soft howl of a werewolf, as it cried out to the world, reminding everyone that they were human, too (well, part human, I supposed). I found the whole thing funny, but I loved to hear her talk about it. She told the story with so much passion and care in her voice, always wearing a bright smile. However, when she came close to the end of the story, the smile always faded as she told me about the flowers falling still and silent as dawn broke; how they were helpless and alone.

I sighed and looked out at the splendid horizon, not wanting to think about how I had to leave soon. You could see the entire village, which seemingly sparkled under the beaming sun. The sky looked like a painted picture, with streaks of purple and red sketched across it at random. The trees, all full with green leaves, blew in the wind like they were dancing a dance that only they knew. We tried to copy them once, but it ended terribly. They were much better dancers than us. I pulled myself away from the memorizing view and focus on her, the pretty girl in front of me.

"You know that tale you tell me about the Lilies dancing in the full moon?" I asked her slowly, and when she nodded I continued, "Well, think of this like that. I'm like the Lilies, but right now it isn't a full moon, so I have to go away. I don't want to, but I have to go anyway. So I'm going, but some day my full moon will come and I will come back for you, just like the Dancing Lilies come back for the werewolf."

She giggled and gazed up at me, "So you are saying that you are a flower. That's funny." She let go of my hand, but stepped closer to me. She tilted her head to the side, analyzing me for a moment before saying with a laugh, "You are a very pretty flower."

I scrunched my face up, "Pretty? I am not pretty! Being pretty is for girls!" I exclaimed. She rolled her eyes at me and stepped in closer. We were super close at this point, our chests nearly touching. She kept grinning brightly as she leaned up to me. Softly she whispered, "You said it yourself. You are a flower, and I declare you are a pretty one." She paused for a moment to let a few more giggles escape her.

"Until our full moon comes, I leave you with this. My Mummy tells me that you give it to someone you really like, so I am giving it to you." Gently, she placed her lips on mine. It was a short peck, but nothing like our holding hands. It was more than I could handle. I backed away some and her eyes grew wide.

"Did you like it?"

I casually wiped my mouth off- I didn't want no girl cooties. I shrugged and answered, "Okay, yeah, I did."

She grinned brightly and then she hugged me, "Good!" We stayed like this for a while. It was nice, but I was now filled with girl cooties. Despite this, I hugged her back and I still wanted her to be with me forever, but the kissing had to go. It was nasty…

"James? James Sirius?" Mum's voice rang in my ears, and I guess it rang in her's too, because she let go of me. We shared a glance with each other, but that was all we could do, because Mum was by my side the next moment. She was frantically yelling at me for wandering off and not telling her. I ignored her. I was far too busy wishing that the full moon would hurry up.

"James, we need to get back down to the house. Your dad's waiting for us- we need to leave." Mum told me as she began to walk down the hill, looking back when she didn't hear my footsteps behind hers. "Come on, now."

I sighed and give a small smile to her, knowing I wouldn't see her for a while. "See you around, Selena."

She gazed at me sorrowfully, whispering, "Bye James…"

Mum walked with me back down to the house, asking me questions about what had just happened up there on the hilltop, where Selena and I were all alone. I could only think of one way to reply. "Have you ever heard of the tale of the Dancing Lilies?"

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**The stroy just popped in my head, so here is the begining. I know they sound a bit older than seven, but believe me, seven year olds are rather smart. **

**I worked hard on this so I would aapriciate reviews. I'd like three before my next update.**


	2. Chapter 1: The Ticket

**AN: I would like to apologize for the late update. We had exams in school, and switched classes, so I had to get back into the flow of things. However, I passed all my classes so I am good. I shall be updating this story every Sunday from now on. I will be completely focusing on this story and putting my others on hold. This is hard for me to do, but I feel that this is my best work done so far. If any of you readers think that it isn't, please tell me. I like knowing, but I do not like too many hurtful comments. It ruins my confidence. :/ My updates my be late, but I will try. I will also try to update my other stories ever once in a while, so yeah. This story means a lot to me, so please read and review.**

_Chapter 1:_

_The Ticket_

"James Sirius Potter, why must you insist on wrecking everything in this castle?" Professor McGonagall asked as she placed her hands on her hips.

"Sir, I mean Ma'am! I don't mean to wreck everything, I just sort of do. I mean, my intentions are far from destroying anything. That'd be a Slytherin's job." I replied back with a smirk.

"I don't know who you think you are, young man, but I will not stand for this. You will respect me when I talk." She glared at me through her squared glasses. "Now you broke the sinks in the girls' bathroom, how do you explain yourself?"

"Well, Ma'am, I lack the ability to speak Parseltongue, unlike my dear father, and I wanted to see if Dad was making the stories up or not. I wanted to see if there really was a Chamber of Secrets, which should have a new name by the way, because it's not too secretive anymore. So like, we should call it, Chamber of Not So Secretiveness… Like think about it, everyone knows that it's there and stuff,"

"Mr. Potter, does this story have a point?" She asked me as she sat down in her Headmistress seat.

I nodded, "Oh, right, Sir,"

"If you call me Sir one more time, I will contact your parents about your behavior immediately, now be serious!" She began to lose her temper.

"Well, Professor, I can't be Sirius, you see, because he died… Sad story that is… On the bright side, I am named after him. So I can be partially Sirius!" I exclaimed happily. This was turning into my new favorite pass time, annoy McGonagall. Delightful game this was. I could do it all the time.

"Mr. Potter, I am warning you." She said sternly.

"No, Professor, I am warning you." I shot back at her with a grin.

"For what?" She began, but soon added, "Ah, that doesn't matter! I am the Headmistress at this school, and I will not tolerate you treating me like this. I have had enough of your back talked. Your parents shall be getting a letter about your behavior. They can deal with you after that."

"Like they will do anything." I laughed as I leaned back in the chair. "I'd like to see them try." I laughed. I was tired of that threat. I wasn't afraid of my parents, because I knew that they wouldn't do anything to me. They loved me too much to hurt me. I would always have my way with them.

"I'm glad you think that way, son."

No, he wasn't here. I could feel my face whiten as I turned around to see both of my parents standing behind me, with facial expressions I have never seen before. It was a mix between disappointed, angry, and sad. _Oh crap, _I thought to myself as I rested my head back in the chair. I was going to die today. I was going to be murdered by my parents. I wasn't afraid though…. Okay, I was sort of… Okay, Okay, I was completely afraid.

"D-Dad, M-Mum? Erm, What you doing here?" I managed to stutter out as I kept my eyes staring anywhere except them. They couldn't be here. No, this was one of those nightmares that you wake up from. I pinched myself. I didn't wake up. I pinched myself again, and again, and again-

"Love, no matter how many times you pinch yourself, nothing is going to change." Mum told me. She walked over to me and forced me to stop pinching myself. "We need to talk, and you are going to listen." She said it in her Do-What-I-Say-Or-I'll-Bat-Boogey-Hex-You way. All I could do was painfully nod.

Mum paced back over to where Dad was at and said, "Alright then, I believe he is going to listen now. He knows the consequence if he doesn't." It was Mum's turn to smirk now. This was so messed up! I was supposed to be the one who smirked, not them!

"James, this behavior is unacceptable. We did not raise you to treat elders like nothing. You need to respect them. They know much more than you do- Actually, the probably know more things than you'll ever know."

"You saying I'm stupid? Oh jeez, thanks Dad. I love you too." I said sarcastically. I rolled my brown eyes at them. This was all so stupid, in my opinion.

"James, I am not saying that you are stupid. You will be, however, if you don't start listening. You need to listen and learn from our mistakes. We aren't here to boss you around. We are hear to teach you,"

I had enough. I lost it. I shook my head and gritted my teeth, right before I interrupted him, "You think you are wise, Dad, just because you defeated Lord Voldemolt. In reality, you are not any smarter than me, or any other average human. So just stop talking! I am done with all this crap! It's all you seem to want to talk about these days. Respect, Faith, and Love." I stood up. "Don't you see? They mean nothing."

"James sit back down, I am not finished with you." Dad commanded.

I couldn't help, but laugh at him. Like he could control me. He was the stupid one to believe that. I was not going to listen to him any longer. I stormed out the door without a second thought. As I exited, I made sure I mentioned, "I am finished with you though." This whole family was stupid. Respect. Faith. Love. Merlin, I despise those words! Specially love, that word is just a fable.

People annoyed me. Everyone was so fake. You could tell just by glancing at them. They all had fake smiles, and fake faces that hid their millions of lies. It was disgusting if you asked me. Sooner I made it too Amelia, the better off I was. She was the only thing that could get my mind off things. She liked to call me her boyfriend; I called her my Whore. I mean, I couldn't possibly have a girlfriend, if love never existed. We just like to get it on. I find nothing wrong about that.

When I was mad, or upset, only two things could get me happy again: Quidditch and Sex. Both had this feeling to them that made me feel like I was free, like I was away from the world. There were no reporters or paparazzi that followed me everywhere, waiting for me to make a mistake. There was just me, and, if we are talking about sex, the person I was doing.

Being stalked constantly by the paparazzi made you want to do bad things just to get them away from you. I may have done a few things too; I don't blame myself though. It's hard not to fall for the pressure of the spotlight. It was an addicting pleasure to see yourself on the cover of the Prophet as you did whatever you were doing. It made you feel like you were better than the rest of the world. I was better than the rest of the world, for I was James Sirius Potter.

I burst into the Great Hall and immediately find Amelia. She is wearing her Ravenclaw uniform. It fit her so nicely. It hugged each of her curves in a way that made me want to melt away. Her brown hair hung to about her shoulders, and her eyes were always so dark and cold. I loved it. She was complicated, like a puzzle, and it was my job to figure her out.

I found myself running for her. "Amelia, hey." I called as I reached her. I kissed her softly on her neck and whispered in her ear, "Wanna find a closet and get cozy in there?" I made sure that she could feel my breaths on her neck, for I knew this turned her on. She turned, so she was facing me. She grinned and replied, "Oh yeah."

She took a hold of my hand and dragged me to a little closet on the third floor. No one ever went close to it, unless they were getting it on. It was a plain, empty closet that was just big enough for two. She wasted no time. She pushed me into the dark closet and shut the door behind us. She made sure it sealed, before putting a silencing charm on it. Now it was time to have fun.

We began ripping eachother's close off, and kissing each other in ways that make both of us moan out loud. It felt so good. Everything was getting so hot. She yanked off my boxers as I pulled her close to me, and we began to have it. It was just how I liked it as well, hard and violent. No better feeling than that.

After we finished for the fourth time, we were both sweaty and panting. I pulled on clothes back on and gave her one last kiss, before exiting the small area. I knew this disappointed her. She hated how I just left after every time we did it, but she could deal with it. I could have cared less about how she felt. I didn't have too technically. We _weren't _dating.

I jogged back to the Gryffindoor common room and plotted myself on the sofa. I let out a large sigh, as my eyes flickered shut. Now, thanks to the run in with Amelia, I felt better. It was time to sleep, and to welcome a new day, because when it came down to it…

It's all we have to do.

**D L D L D L D L D L**

The afternoon faded into nighttime and nighttime dawned into morning. That morning was horrible. I awoke with my back aching, my head pounding, and my neck killing me. It looked like it was going to be one of my legendary skip days, which happened almost every day. Professors were used to it now, or well, should be. I groaned as I rolled off the couch and on to the floor. I didn't move from my position on the floor.

With my face stuffed on the carpet, I could really notice how nice it was. It was the color of red, because it was the Gryffindoor Common Room, but that wasn't all I noticed. Surprisingly, even after being steeped on all the time, it had the tangy flavor to it. I bet it was from what the house elves used to clean it. Each sting of the carpet was soft and comfortable. I rubbed my cheek against it slowly taking in each second I had with it. As I did that, I noticed how little things are so, calming and comforting. This was a first.

I heard someone creep up behind me. I didn't bring myself to separate from the carpet. It was too nice. The feeling was addicting. I thought that if I stayed quiet and pretended I was asleep, the person would leave my carpet, and me alone. The exact opposite happened. I could feel the person coming closer. I looked over and noticed a pair of shoes in front of my face. I just let out a long sigh.

"If you are done snogging the floor, Dad is in the Charms room wanting to talk to you." I heard Al's voice. The feet must be his, oh joy.

I rolled my eyes, and stood up, "If you are done snogging the floor…" I mocked. I took a deep breath, and replied, "Like right, I am going to talk to Dad. I told him I was though with him last night." I snapped.

Al laughed, "If you don't talk to him, you are only throwing yourself down the drain."

I studied him for a moment. There was an eerie feeling to him. It felt as if he was hiding something from me. He knew something I didn't, and it involved him. Oh crap, what could it be now? I couldn't snog anymore people girls this week. I had already set my goal, plus my lips were getting chapped. That was disgusting.

"What do you mean, I'll throw myself down the drain? And why are you laughing. Do you know something I don't know? Tell whichever girl who wants me now, wait that's every girl… Tell whichever girl you know about, that I am out of business till Saturday." I stated boldly.

Al shook his head at me, and said, "First off, I am laughing, because Dad is going to kill you. Yes, I know something you don't know. Third, you are too full of yourself. No one likes you, okay, well Trainel likes you, but that's beside the point. I keep telling her that she is delirious."

Trainel Clarkson was Al's best friend. Al and her did everything together. Looks like I get her too, hopefully she understands my no dating rule. I'd totally have a go with her though, specially since she had that body. She was curvier than Amelia, and that was saying something. Boys wandered how Trainel found bras to fit her. She was huge, and would be delight to fool around with. I could all ready see her and myself, in that cozy closet on the third floor, which by the way was nicknamed James's Closet. My hands tracing over her mountains and giving each one a tender squeezes. We would make out for a bit, but soon enough, she would give me the right to remove her shirt, skirt, bra, and then underwear. I would remove all my clothing, without her having to say a word. After trying out all the other stuff, we would finally-

"James, you are not thinking about Trainel, are you?" The look on Al's face was hilarious. His emerald eyes were widened and his skin paled. I couldn't help but laugh.

"What if I am? What you going to do, Abby?" I used Al's nickname I gave him, back when I was eleven. It had stuck since then.

"I'll punch you in the face." Al stated.

"Oh, I am so scared. Help me, help me!" I joked as I collapsed on the couch. I looked at him, and smiled, "I am surprised you aren't telling Dad about Amelia and me…" Al didn't have to say anything. The smirk on his face told a million words. It told me that Dad knew, Dad told Mum, Mum told Amelia's Mum, who told her Dad, and they all want to have a little chat with me. Another reason for me to avoid Dad.

"How did he find out?" I asked with my eyebrow raised.

"Lily told me that Eve told her that Katie told her that Bryan told her that Carter told him, that he over heard Jackson and Dominique talking about it, and that Dad was right behind them, and heard everything." Al said. He went over the list again making sure he had the details straight. I could care less about the list. All I cared about was finding Amelia, and asking her if she told Dominique or not. Then I would yell at her if she did, and then I'd have to go find Dominique, who was probably snogging Jackson somewhere.

I cocked my head to the side and said, "Al, you know, you are worse than Rose and Roxy when it comes to that naming list thing. I mean, I thought they were bad, but you are worse." I paused, before saying, "You sure you aren't a girl?"

"Well, maybe you should ask Delilah Longbottom that." Al replied smoothly.

My jaw dropped as I heard what he had said. Delilah Longbottom? Neville Longbottom and Hannah Abott's only kid? Not only was it Delilah, our neighbor, but it was our Herbology Professor's daughter! A smirk snaked on to my face, as now I wouldn't be the only person in trouble now. Al would be too. I whipped the smirk off my face, and made it only a smile. I needed more details though.

"Delilah? Tell me more about this." I said.

"Okay, well, we have been dating for about seven months now,"

"Seven months and I didn't know about it?"

"That's what I said James, seven months. Anyway, we decided to keep our relationship quiet, because we knew everyone would flip out about it."

"No they wouldn't have. They would all be to concentrate on me. I am the best one of us." I stated half joking and half seriously.

Al ignored me though, which is completely rude of him.

"Anyway, we finally decided it was time to do more, since we are in love," I cringed at the word as he spoke it. He ignored me again.

"I took her to that abandoned closet on the third floor,"

"Hey! That's my closet!"

"James, I swear to Merlin, that if you don't stop interrupting me-"

"Okay! Okay! I get it Mr. Abbykins. No need to get sassy."

I knew he hated being interrupted, maybe that was why I did it to him all the time. It was fun. Sometimes you could get him so worked up, that a vein in his head would pop up and start throbbing. It made me laugh. I always got in trouble when I did it though, because Al had anger problems that made it hard for him to cool off. That didn't stop me. Once, I got him so mad that he punched a random Slytherin in the face. That was a scene there. Ah, good times… good times…

"We went in that closet and started off by taking it slow, but by the time we had finished, we had done everything." Al said proud of himself. He got this weird look on his face, that made him look weirder than usual, and he sighed merrily. "She is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I love her so much, James. You know what I mean right? You've done all this before."

I shook my head, "No, I have no idea what you are talking about."

Al turned to me with a confused expression on his face, "What do you mean? Haven't Amelia and you done it before?"

I nodded, "Yeah, but that doesn't mean I love her. I have done it with almost everyone here at this school, and none of it matters anything. Its just fun."

"What's the point of doing it, if you don't make love?" Al asked as he blinked his eyes a couple of times trying to understand me. All of Dad's talk about not doing anything until you found the woman you love must've got to him. Dad ruined Al's brain. He would never know the feeling of taking advantage of girls for your liking. I felt sorry for him.

I shrugged, "You don't _make _that love crap. You just stick your part into her and have a good time. I like to play a game. It's called to see how loud I can make her scream." I paused, before realizing something, which was Al's age, "Aren't you like only fourteen? That's a bit young, isn't it?"

"I am sixteen James. I am only a year younger than you." He stated annoyed.

"Right, so, well, I have to go talk to Dad. I shouldn't keep our dear father waiting for too long." I smirked at him as I began to exit the Common Room.

"Promise me you won't tell Dad." He stated,

"I don't promise anything."

With that I took off, I ran out of the Common Room and into the hallway. Al was right behind me like I wanted. I was at advantage, because I was faster than him, so it was easy for me to beat him up the five stair cases and through six corridors, before I quickly ran into the Charms room, where Dad stared at me. I gave Dad the wait sign, and counted to three, right on time Al burst through the door yelling, "James don't you dare tell dad about Delilah and-"

He stopped mid-sentence. His eyes were wide as he looked straight into Dad's matching eyes. Lovely day we were having, I must say. This was actually what I needed. Al to confess what he had done, so Dad would forget about all the things I have done. Looks like I had gotten off the hook again. It was amazing being me.

"What do you mean not by tell Dad about Delilah?" Dad questioned. He had his arms folded across his chest as he leant against the wall.

Al looked down, as he was totally beat. He shot me a glare, and said, "Delilah and I are dating."

Dad grinned, "That's great! How long has it been? You Mum will be happy to know this. She has been waiting till you two got together."

Al shrugged, "We've only been dating seven months… Not that long, you know."

"Seven Months?" Dad's smile was whipped away. He looked sternly at Al, giving him the eye, which was better when it wasn't used on you. "What _all _have you two done?" He added in a serious, get down to business tone of voice.

Al slouched and tried to make himself invisible, and it wasn't working. I had to use all my will power to not laugh at him. As this happened I slowly left the room, unnoticed. Right before I left, I heard Al mutter, "Everything…"

Dad let out one angry sigh.

I won!

Now, the next part to my plan, to find Amelia and beat the crap out of her for telling Dominique, the world's biggest gossip leader, about what we did. I wasn't actually going to lay a finger on Amelia that was crossing the line. I was, however, going to be furious with her, if she had told. Then, I would find Dominique and kill her. That was violent, but she was my cousin. I was allowed to torture her.

I marched down the hallway, as tension boiled in my blood. I was furious, and upset about the whole thing. Amelia had never told before, it was our agreement, why now? Why when Dad was here? Was the world trying to kill me? Was she trying to get me killed? I knew she wasn't, she fancied me too much, which made me sick, but assured me that she didn't want me killed. For the first time ever, I felt that sometimes love did help out, too bad it didn't exist.

The only problem was that I had no idea where Amelia was. As I thought about it, she was probably in class. It wasn't past noon yet. Today was all ready eventful, I couldn't wait till what came next. I sped down the hallways and down to the Great Hall. I would just wait until she came in there for lunch. That sounded like a logical plan to me. I wasn't always stupid, I had brilliant ideas too, that fell only a shade from intelligent ones.

Not many people were in the Great Hall, a few seventh years, whom seemed to have a free period, sat at the end of the Hufflepuff table playing Wizard Chess. They laughed, and joked around with each other. Friends, they were great company until they stabbed up in the back with a dagger, and no, this had nothing to do with the fact that my best friend stole the only girl I liked here in this place. It was back in fourth year, when I was naïve enough to believe there was such a thing as love, faith, and respect. There was none of it alive anymore, if they ever existed.

One minute passed.

Two minutes.

Three, four five and six minutes passed through my life.

Soon, I had waited so long for her that the boys at the other table left, and I was the only one in the entire Hall. It was creepy. It made me feel small. The place was so large, and I only filled a very small section of it. I shuddered at the thought that that was how it actually was in life. That wasn't true though, I was the world. I was the best thing in it. I was James Sirius Potter. No one could top me; people would always and forever try too. They would never succeed, because you couldn't beat the master, could you?

I'm not sure how long I actually waited for her. Sometime during my wait, I had fell into a dream-like state. I was sleeping, but I could hear everything that went on around me. I could hear children's laughter as the passed by the Great Hall, on the way to their next class. I could hear the faint hoots from the owls that passed over head. The thing that got me the most was how I could hear the fire on the candles that surrounded the room crackle and roar as they fought to stay alive. In my head, a picture drew out. There was two, little hands holding a candle that flickered on and off. There was a little girl's sweet laughter that seemed like a memory I had forgotten. I was positive that the hands belonged to the girl. It just had to be that way. I couldn't make out her face; it was too dark, so I concentrated on the candle in front of me. The flame was warm, I wanted to be closer to it, and never let it go. It warmed me from head to toe. Every inch of my body was possessed with this flame. It burned through my skin, and boiled my blood. My heart beat fast, as it tried to keep me alive. Oddly, I didn't mind. The felling felt real and so familiar like that old song Mum used to sing to me. I was a child back then, and life was a lot less confusing. That was all in the past and there was no need to relive it.

Footsteps abrupt and disturbed the peaceful sound of the flame flickering. I could feel the warmth disappearing, and I saw the picture fading. I didn't want it to go away. It was the best I had felt in ages. Farther and farther, I was pulled away from the flame. Blurrier and blurrier the image got. Suddenly, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I jumped, and opened my eyes. There was no flame, just my Dad and an empty Great Hall.

I sighed and figured out I couldn't run from him any forever. He would track me down eventually. He was the Head of the Auror Department. The minister said there was no one like dad. He was always overjudged like that, just because he defeated Lord Voldemolt. I didn't think that it was the best reason to call him the best person in the world. People didn't have to follow every family member of his around as they lived off their mistakes.

"James, we need to talk." Dad said. I was expecting his voice to be harsh, but it was compassionate, and calm. He lay his hand on my shoulder and squeezed it. "This time there'll be no one else's' mistakes to hide behind. Its time for you to confess."

I looked down at the ground, trying my hardest to not make eye contact with him. I bite my lip, and sighed. I hated this with a burning passion.

"Okay, and what do we need to talk about?" I asked pretending I didn't know a thing.

"You know exactly what we need to talk about." I could feel his eyes on me. I hated it; it made me want to hide.

I rolled my eyes, and shrugged, "Alright, so maybe I do. I don't see why it's such a big deal."

Dad shook his head at me. He seemed to be doing this a lot lately. I didn't understand why, I've always been this way. It's not something that just sort of started to occur, it has been occurring since first year, I believed. Dad shouldn't make such a big deal about all of it.

"You shouldn't take advantage of Amelia like that. She loves you, and you need to respect her. Apparently, you don't even talk to her, or pay attention to her, unless it's for your pleasure." Dad spoke, as I wandered about how he retrieved this information! Who in Merlin's name gave him this information? I was going to murder them. I was going to make them suffer.

"Who told you this?" I needed names.

"James, I am not giving you the names of the people who told me this." Dad replied. He then commanded, "Now, is this true?"

"Yes, but on my behave, I don't have to talk to her, or even care for her. We aren't dating. I made sure she understood that we would never be dating, or end up together. I told her I wouldn't be faithful, or be with her all the time. I would only be with her when I wanted too." I stated. I thought I was putting up a good fight.

Dad shook his head at me. He stared me right in the eye, and asked, "You remember how yesterday you told me you were done with me?" I was surprised he didn't continue on the other subject.

I nodded.

"Well, here is my response to that." He handed me an envelope.

"Open it." He commanded.

I did as I was told. Inside was a ticket for Savage Springs? What the hell was that place? I raised my eyebrow at Dad, who seemed to understand my confusion.

"This is where you will be spending the month or so there. It's a small town full of Muggles, or well, squibs. It is where unwanted squibs go and live. We have been there before, maybe you remember?"

"So you are sending me off to some place, letting me miss out on school?"

"I came down here to make up my mind, whether I should send you or not. Your attitude made me positive this is the only way to bring my son back. This, James, isn't who you are. You may think you are fooling people, but you are not fooling your mother and me. I don't know what happened to make you become like this, but I will certainly do what I can to make it stop. You aren't my son, I don't know who you are." Dad said as he laid a hand on my shoulder.

I shook my head; "You have no right to say who I am, or who I am not." I stood up and backed up, "Nothing is going to change me. I'm staying this way."

"But are you happy with who you are?" Dad asked. He was calm, like he had known that I'd react this way.

"Yes, I love who I am. I am a legend here." I smiled. "Everyone knows my name."

"That isn't always a good thing. You are boarding this train when everyone else is boarding to head back to Hogswart after break. That means you leave in four weeks. After that you will be there for the following months, until you reconnect with your old self. Until you learn the definitions of those three words you swear are a fable. After that, you might return, I haven't made up my mind yet." Dad paused and lowered his voice; "I don't care if I have to make you stay until next year. You _aren't_ coming back until I have my son back."

I rolled my eyes, "I guess I won't ever be coming back, will I? Cause I am _not _changing."

"That's your choice, James. I have to get back to the Ministry now, so we shall talk about this more during break in a week. Your mother and I will tell you more about this trip then. Until then, behave." Dad stated.

He nodded, and waved at me, and then walked out of the Great Hall. He was seriously sending me off to some Muggle town? How was this town going to change me? This made no sense. Worst part was that I graduated in six and a half months. He couldn't do this. Anger boiled under my skin, I clenched my fists, and glared at where Dad had just been. Where the hell was Amelia? I was so going lose it with her in that closet. Knowing that everyone knew and despised me for it made the situation even better. Maybe this would make Dad understand that I was his son, and that was what I was like. And I liked being this way.

I thought…

**AN: I apologize for any mistakes in grammar, or spelling. I am still learning about those things. I have never been the world's best spelling, but I think I've got it pretty good. It's hard for me to write in James's perspective, but I feel like I have been doing a decent job. Please review, I'd be thrilled to have three more reviews for this chapter. Fires or flames will count as one of those three. I understand that those comments are only to teach me. Thank you.**


	3. Chapter 2:Rules Are Made to Be Broken

**Author Note: Ahh! I feel soo bad! I left my notebook, that had my story in it, at school over the weekend, then I got sick on Monday and Tuesday, so I couldn't update it. D: I am like completely sorry guys. I feel like I let you down. Hopefully, you'll like the chapter still! Just like to say this is part 1. SInce it has taken me so long to post this, I decided to post what I have for a short update, and then write the rest. Hopefully I will get it too you soon. Life has been hectic. (:**

**Attention: I don't own Harry Potter, and never will. I do own my own character: Seleana, but she hasn't came into the plot yet. :P**

_Chapter 2 Instruction Are Made to Be Broken Part 1_

The next week was the same as usual, except for the extra sex. I didn't complain though. Sex was sex, and it felt phenomenal. The best part of it was that it wasn't just Amelia, who got a taste of me. There were four other girls as well. I had done so many positions that I was sore the following morning for each of them. Haylee Summers worked me the best out of them all. It was my award for leading our Quidditch team to victory against Slytherin. Those awards were truly wonderful. Every aspect of the event was a small hint of what afterlife was like, in my opinion.

I stumbled out of my bed, and threw on a T-shirt. I found Freddie lying on his bed reading a Quidditch magazine. Hopefully, he would receive some pointers about how to play Beater. He hasn't been his best lately, and I'm annoyed by it. I was beginning to gain a feeling that I needed to replace him, and I absolutely didn't want to make the action. That made me realize something. I needed to make a back up Captain for when I was away at that stupid place. Freddie was expecting me to give him the spot. I knew he was, but he wasn't the best person for it. He didn't have the best leader skills, he was more of a follower. I didn't blame him, it was just who he came to be. Not everyone could have my ability of being an awesome leader.

"Ready for the game today?" I wandered as I walked towards the bathroom. I needed to brush my teeth. I could still taste Danielle on my lips. It was disgusting, it had been at least eight hours since I left her in the closet, and it should've been gone by now.

"Totally, we are going to destroy Ravenclaw." Freddie stated, not bothering to look up from his magazine.

"Make sure you beat the crap out of Dustin. Acciendently aim for him. Maybe it will knock some sense into the prat." I said as I grabbed my toothbrush, and started to brush the taste of her out of my mouth.

"Don't worry, mate. I'll give him a good Christmas present." Freddie hollered from his bed.

"A concussion, you mean?" Sean piped into our conversation.

I spit my toothpaste out of my mouth, and said, "No, we don't plan things like that. That's just a Slytherin move. A broken arm would work though." I smirked.

This comment was awarded with laughs, and hollering in satisfaction. I was pleased with myself. This just made me sure that I was the best person in the world. Like I didn't all ready know that. Anyone knew it. One time, I was walking the streets of Diagon Alley, and some random dude told me that I had to be the best young man he'd seen. Okay, he mentioned something about Dad first, but then he did compliment me on my well-used manners. I wasn't always obnoxious, just most of the time.

"Now, if he just happens to hit his, that's all right, right?" Freddie asked curiously.

"No, that's not an option. We don't want him killed. That's just absurd." I stated. I didn't want a murder to occur where I escaped my problems, and life. Nothing or no one could take that away. If they did, I'd kill them myself.

"Potter, you're too nice to people. Giving people who deserve to die the chance to live. You are a true Gryffindorm mate." Sean announced proudly.

"I knew this all already. I was James Potter, I was the best Gryffindor. No one could compare to me. I could get anything I wanted to. So, I had to laugh at this comment. It was hilarious. Sean telling me what I have known since Mum gave birth to me. I was the best, no doubting that.

"I know, no need for you to remind me." I said as I walked back into the room. Danielle's taste still lingering in the corners of my mouth, but it wasn't as bad as before. Thank Merlin. It made my life even better, and made me even more prepared for today's game, and my victory award with Haylee. Merlin, I wanted it so bad.

"We going down to breakfast soon? I'm starving right now. I need food," Freddie complained loudly.

"We can go now, if you want to." I said.

Freddie was on his feet before I had finished my sentence. I laughed to myself. Sean joined us as we started to leave the room. Sean Finnigan was a son of a man Dad had gone to school with. He was a funny bloke to room with. He said the most random things. Sean wasn't one to tell things to though. He was a blabber, I despised those kind of guys. Sean was okay, I guessed.

As we walked through the common room, I spotted Hayley over in the corner. I grinned at her, and mumbled, "Hold on a second…" to Fred and Sean. I had to make sure our deal was still on.

I casually walked over to her, and asked, "We still on?"

She blushed, "Aren't we always?" She stood up so we were face to face. The top of her head was at the bottom of my chin. I loved to rest my chin on the top on her head. Her hair was so soft. It smelled so nice as well.

"That's how I plan things to be." I grinned, and traced my fingers up her neck, making her tilt her head up, so I could give her a good snog.

Hayley tasted the best out of all the girls. Her lips were like a small piece of heaven invented just for my pleasure. I tangled my hair in her blond hair, as the other people in the room wolf whistled. It was so much fun to do things in front of other people just to hear their reactions. They were usually so enthusiastic that it made me want to do more. If I could have, I would have took Amelia into my closet and explored her again, and again.

"James, this is low." Amelia's voice whimpered into my ear. There was nothing else that killed the mood more, than when she was upset. It sort of pissed me off.

Hayley and I broke apart, and I turned around to find Amelia in tears beside Dominique. This happened all the time, so I wasn't really panicking. She'd be mad at me for a while, then we'd have make-up sex, and everything would be better. She knows that I was not interested in her, that I was only interested in one thing, so I didn't understand why she made so big of scenes. She was fascinated with drama. It pissed me off.

"Oh no, you caught me again." I dully said.

"Oh really? No way!" Dominique glared coldly at me.

"I can't believe you did this in front of everyone. I am ashamed of you." Amelia sobbed.

"Amelia, we _aren't _dating. You know that too. You agreed on the terms of everything, and you need to get the hell over yourself. I'm not with you, so I can do whatever I want with anyone. So just fuck off. Please. Just fuck off." I yelled. I couldn't believe she was causing a scene like this. Luckily, I was used to people goggling over me.

"Well, I love you, and hate seeing you with other women. I want to be your only one. Don't you love me back?" She asked with eyes of tears.

The room fell silent, and for the first time in my life, I began to choke up. I never had to announce things like this before. She knew my answer, and she knew I knew she did. She just wanted me to admit my thoughts and feelings to the entire room. Love was a fable. Perhaps, she wanted me to admit I loved her. My knees weakened at that thought.

"You know I like spending time with you."

"You aren't answering my question, James. Do you love me?"

"Well- um- you know, er…" I looked around at everyone in the room. Faces of my cousins, brother, sister, and friends all looked at me. Suddenly, I found the room getting extremely hot. I didn't understand why I was reacting like that. I hated all of this. Taking a deep breath, I mumbled, "No, I don't. I can't. You know love- all of it- is just a fable. It isn't true…"

"What? What did you say? I think you have to say that louder. I don't think I heard all of that." Amelia announced.

"I know you heard everything I just said." I told her.

"No, I didn't. I didn't hear anything." She said innocently.

"I'm done with this Amelia. You are a bitch. Anything we might have had is close to over. I don't need this drama." I yelled. I didn't wait to see her reaction, I quickly rushed out of the room, with Freddie and Sean behind me. I hated her so much, but the sex was so good.

**A/N: R&R! I love hearing from my readers. It means a lot.**

**Part 2 is on its way! (:**


	4. Chapter 3: Secrets Destory

**Note: I was going to stop writing this story, because I am rather busy in real life, but now I am certain to finish it thanks to all the wonderful reviews and favorites. It warms my heart when someone reviews or favorites or alerts a story of mine. So I would like to say thank you. I would like to apologize for the gaps between updates. I am just really busy.**

_Chapter 3: _

_Secrets Destory_

I hadn't told anyone about what Dad was making me do; I wasn't sure whom to tell. How could I break the news to all my fans that I would not be returning after break, which happened to start in less than a week. The thought of all their hearts breaking messed me up a bit. How was the school going to function without its king? I ruled the school; I was the ruler- commander- of everything there. The Headmistress couldn't even touch what I had. I was the real deal, like usual. And as the breakfast went on, the thought of what happened between Amelia and me was pushed to the back of my mind until I barely even remembered who she was. Instead, I was too caught up on the idea of the school going into the dumps once I left. I had a legacy and I was going to have to abandon everything. Dad had no idea what he was doing to the school by taking me away from it. What pained me the most was that I couldn't do anything about it.

I sat slouched over my breakfast, and ate slow. The Quidditch match today, my last for the year probably, was going to be one of the hardest. I was going to have to tell my team, before the game about me leaving, and I would have to appoint a new captain. Freddie wanted it, I knew he did, but I felt as if he was barely good enough to be on the team. I ate my food slowly, chewing each piece of food up in rhythm to the voice that was talking in my head. My gut was telling me to pick Garret, a sixth year and an amazing Beater, but my heart was telling me to pick Freddie, he was my best mate and cousin after all. I was afraid I would have to go with my gut, because my brain told me to go that way as well.

"You all right, mate?" Freddie wondered with a mouth full of food.

I nodded once, not really hearing what he said.

"You sure? You don't look too well, James." Sean told me, as he got seconds on various foods.

"Y-Yeah," I coughed to clear my throat before continuing, "Yeah, perfectly fine. I am ready for this game today."

"So not even Amelia put you out of your game zone?" Sean asked with a grin.

"Hell no! Once James Potter is in his game zone, there is no way to get him out of it." Henry added, who was sitting next to Freddie and apparently listening on our conversation.

"He is only the most amazing Captain, and Quidditch player we have seen in ages." Hayley added with a small wink at me.

I gave her my legendary nod, and said, "Alright, alright. I am positive that we have concluded that I _am_ the definition of bloody brilliant."

"We must add your name to the dictionary, Mr. Potter." Hayley smiled.

"Of course, I am only the god of Quidditch and everything fantastic." I smirked.

"I do believe there is one person better than you." Sean added.

"And who would that be? I must kill them, mustn't I?"

"You'd kill your best mate, man? Low." Sean joked.

I threw a biscuit at him, and nudged Freddie, "I must say, we must pop that terrible ego of his. If we let it get any bigger, he may injure himself, or others. We mustn't let him do that."

"He must know that we only let him hang out with us, because we feel sorry for him and his- you know- **L-A-M-E-N-E-S-S**." Freddie replied with a grin.

"Hey! That's rude!" Sean said with his mouth full with the biscuit I had just thrown at him.

"How do you know what they said? You don't know how to spell!" Henry laughed.

"I can so." Sean shot us with a glare.

"Now, now, dear friend of mine, the best way to deal with matters like these are admitting you have a problem." I said, as I lay a hand on his right shoulder.

He rolled his eyes at me.

"Yeah, I win. I am epic." I said with a sharp smirk.

"You are so egotistical, James Potter."

I grimace, as I turn around and see Dominique behind me. She had her arm crossed over her chest and a wicked glare on her face that reminded me of Grandma, when she was mad. That was never a pretty sight to see. Nothing was worse than Mum's howlers though. They were the worst things that someone could witness or live through. I thought I was going to die when I did receive one from her in third year, when I blew up half of the Potion Classroom. She didn't buy that it was an accident, she knew me too well.

"What do you want Dom?" I said with a sigh.

"For you to apologize to Amelia."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"Go away."

"Make me."

"You are your mother's daughter."

"What is that supposed to mean?" She hissed at me.

"Aunt Fleur's a bitch, and you are, too." I said simply with a shrug.

"Mate, that's low. They are family." Freddie told me quietly.

"Well, that doesn't make me have to like them."

"But you know- we _need_ family." Freddie said.

"I'd get along by myself perfectly. I _don't_ need anyone." I said stubbornly.

"You can't just treat family this way, mate. C'mon. You don't actually mean that." Freddie looked at me in disbelief.

I looked over at Dominique for a moment. She had tears falling silently out of her bright crystal-like eyes, and she bit her lip. She was melodramatic. Anger boiled at me. Why wasn't Freddie taking my side, he always took my side. I felt like punching something. I shook my head, and gritted my teeth at Freddie, and Dom. Family sucked.

"Yes, yes I do." I glared at him, hoping that he would burst in flames. "Whose side are you on anyway? What game you playing at?"

"Maybe sending you off to Savage Springs is a good idea. I didn't think that it was at first, but these days I feel as if it is the best choice." Freddie stated.

Dominique let out a small gasp, and her eyes widened.

"Who told you about that?" I demanded.

Freddie paused for a moment, and looked at Dom, who gave him a slight nod. It was as if they were talking in a telephatic way. I looked around at my group of friends. They all seemed to be staring down at their plates. Hayley refused to make eye contact with me. She was the one person I had trusted to always tell me the truth, to always be there for me. Now, she was turning her back on me too? Suddenly, I felt like they all knew something that I didn't, and it wasn't a good thing.

"Tell me." I demanded. I cringed at the sound of my voice, which cracked as I talked.

More silence. I looked at everyone one more time, waiting for one of him or her to get the balls to explain to me what was going on. No one was giving any signs or clues except that it wasn't something good. I took a deep breath, and gulped out, "Please, tell me."

It felt odd saying please. I hadn't pronounced that word in years. I had thought that I had forgotten how to say it. I shut my eyes for a moment, before opening them and staring at Freddie, knowing that if one of them told me, it would be him. We had gone through so much together, we were born only a month a part. We had a trust system that made it impossible for him to not tell me.

However, the voice I heard was not the one that belonged to Freddie, or Dominique. It belonged to Molly, who sat three seats away from Sean. Suddenly, I realized that this conversation had gotten out of just my group of friends. The whole Great Hall had became oddly quiet. It wasn't a feeling I wanted to feel.

"We have been planning this since Summer Break."

"We?" I questioned.

"Sending you to Savage Springs wasn't just your parents' decision. They came to the family, and asked us." Rose added nervously.

"It was a family decision…" commented Louis.

"And a couple of friends' opinions…" added Sean quietly.

Suddenly, I found myself concentrating hard on the plate in front of me. I concentrated on the design, color, texture, and everything else I could conclude about it. I felt like I was going to throw up. Hot tears swelled up in my eyes, but I fiercely blinked them away, and I could feel my face pale into a ghost-like tint. They had betrayed me… all of them had betrayed me… my family… my friends… they were all planning against me. Never before had silence stung me so bad. Every second of it was though it was strangling me, and not feeling a bit of guilt about it. It was as though it was laughing and feeding off my torturing, my pain, and my hurt. Now that the truth had rung out like a thousand bells, I knew I had no one to turn to. I was alone, and I honestly believed that no one cared. They all just desperately wanted to send me off. Some kind of family we were.

"You probably wish you were a better boyfriend now, don't you." Amelia smirked. "You got what you deserved, Potter."

"When will you realize that I never gave a damn about you?" I asked, as I stood up.

"And you," I turned to face Freddie, "Thanks a million for being a good mate, and you too Sean. It really freaking means a lot." My words came out like venom. I didn't want to see their faces anymore. I didn't want to see anyone's face anymore. They were all bitches.

"And Hayley, I honestly felt like I could trust you. Apparently, I cannot do that, can I? You are all bitches." I shook my head, trying to fight the bundle of emotions that were trying to escape.

"Honestly, James, we only meant good. You need help." Hayley said with tear running down her cheek. It hurt me to see her cry, but I would get over it.

"I am guessing everyone in this school wants me to go? Huh?" I screamed and hit the table. "Were all the Professor behind this too? Wouldn't surprise me!" I turned to face them. "I never fancied any of you anyway!"

"Mr. Potter, you need to clam down." Professor McGonagall asked me, with a kind expression on her face that was so fake, I knew it was.

"Why should I calm down? Give me one good reason! Everyone I knew has- has betrayed me…" I shook my head, still not believing the truth.

"I repeat you need to come down, Mr. Potter. Fretting about this will only make matters worse." McGonagall warned him.

"Come on, mate, you are making a fool out of yourself." Freddie said.

"Don't you dare call me mate. You are _not _a friend." I yelled.

"James, listen to yourself! You need help. I bet you don't even know who you really are. I don't even know who you really are! Who you are right now is _not _my brother. If you stay this way, you won't ever have anyone. You don't want that…" Al had the guts to stand up.

"Shut the fuck up Al. Just shut up!"

"Language, Mr. Potter." McGonagall advised.

"I am _not_ going to any Savage Springs. I am _not_ going to stay here. I am _not_ going to go home… ever." I said in a sickening, ugly tone of voice that made the hair on the back of my neck stand up.

"Where are you going to go then?" Al asked. "You have no where to go."

"Albus! James! I order this nonsense to stop. Al please sit down, you are making matters worse. James, dear, just sit down, enjoy the rest of breakfast, then go play the Quidditch, because we both know that's what is going to happen." McGonagall raced out to us. She lay a hand on my arm, and I yanked myself away from her.

"Don't touch me." I demanded. "I am done here."

My next actions even surprised myself. I began storming out of the Great Hall. I heard Professor McGonagall calling after me, but I ignored her. I just kept walking, and soon my pace turned into a run. I didn't run to my dorm, because I didn't have much time to escape. I knew they'd be notifying my parents in moments. Instead, I ran to the third floor corridor and jumped inside the old witch's statue, and found myself in the cellar of Honeydukes. Where I went from then was unknown. I made sure I made no sound at all. I hurried over to the ladder to escape. The next part was the most difficult part, but it wasn't something I hadn't done before.

I climber out of the cellar and into the main part of the store. I looked around, and analyzed the place before deciding my next move. The last thing I needed was to be caught. It would just mean even more problems that I didn't want to deal with. I tiptoed over to the door, and unlocked the door with the flick of my wand. I silenced the bells hanging from the door, and slipped out of the store. A fresh grin stretched on my face, as the cold December morning air nipped at my skin that was not covered. I walked in the shadows to make sure no one would spot me walking through the dead town at this hour in the morning.

Only one place came to my mind, when I thought about where to hide out. It was the Shrieking Shack, and I doubted that anyone would think I would go there. It wasn't the fanciest place to be at, but it would be enough for me. I'd rather be there than with everyone else. All those back-stabbers who pretended to be my friends, I hated their guts, and wished painful times upon them. I had no problem, and who were they to say I did. I was perfectly sane. Only insane people had problems, and I was definitely not insane.

"They are all just jealous… I am too awesome, that has to be it…" I mumbled to myself as I made the hike up to the Shrieking Shack. I wasn't positive if I believed it or not, I just said it to say it. I needed something to pick me up from this low, and with no one around, small comments had to do. The only bad thing was that small comments seemed to only make me even more numb.

I reached the fence that surrounded the Shrieking Shack, and simply climbed over it.

"Potter sticks the landing!" I laughed out loud to the waking sun and cerulean, endless sky.

I tried my best to push everything out of my mind, but it all kept returning and tearing me down. Every time I would say the same thing, about how I was too awesome for them. Each time it only healed the wound in heart for a little while. That little while was entirely too little.

The bright sun and the fresh air helped clear my mind a little bit. Instead of walking all the way to the shack, I found myself laying down in the uncut grass, and gazing up at the sky. I hadn't done this in what seemed like forever. Even though the light breeze was freezing me to the bone, I didn't mind being out here. The thought of missing the Quidditch match or the betrayal of my friends and family didn't cross my mind either. It was only nature, and me and I liked it… a lot.

I felt my eyes flutter shut, and my body drifting to s light slumber to the sound of the wind blowing through the weeds and tree branches. It was like an old tune someone used to sing to me. I could see its small silhouette, but details of them stay a mystery. A young girl's voice called my name. Her voice was sweet; it made me want to follow her. She stood calling my name in the shadows of an old Willow Tree. She urged me to follow her, to come to her, yet no matter how hard I tried I couldn't get myself closer to her. Something was pulling me away, keeping me from reaching her. I had to reach her. I had to see her.

"No James. You can't." A blurred voice told me. I looked up at the owner of the voice. I could see his or hers features perfectly. Bright emerald eyes that were protected by circular glasses, raven hair sticking up everywhere, I knew exactly who this figure was.

"Why can't I Dad?"

"It's time to go."

"But why?" My voice had raised to the tone it was before puberty. It was as though I was a child again, but I wasn't a child, I was sixteen.

"We have to get home."

"I. Hate. You." I breathed each word out like it was a dart aimed at Dad. I didn't know what he was doing to me, but I was pissed beyond saving. I wanted him dead, I wished Voldemolt had killed him years ago. I didn't want to see his face again.

I looked back over to where the girl stood, and I only saw blackness. The picture and light had faded away, and I was now standing in the middle of a black abyss of fear, rage, and hatred. Each emotion crept into my body, making me a volcano about to erupt. And I did. I just began screaming. I screamed into the blackness, I cursed everyone's name, even my own. Everyone deserved to die especially, Mum and Dad.

A piece of notebook paper appeared. It took up all of my vision. One message stung me harder than the betrayal from friends and family.

**Forget and move on**

**Love has**_** never**_** and **_**never **_**will exist in this world of ours**

And I did.

I awoke with a jump, and blinked a few times before I recalled where I was. I shook my head, and judged from the position of the sun in the sky that I had been asleep a while. The piece of notebook paper still showed up in remarkable detail in my mind, as if it was burning a hole in my brain. I didn't remember why, but I knew I had written it years back. Why was I just recalling it now? It made no sense to me, but I knew that it was my pact to never love a soul, for love doesn't existed.

I got to my feet, and stumbled up the rest of the way up to the shack. I had to get out of the cold, I thought I had frost bite thanks to my slumber. I opened the creaky door, and before I even had a chance to step inside the most unwanted voice rang in my ears.

"Good morning, son, I was expecting to see you here. You are a bit behind schedule, but at least you showed up, unlike the Quidditch match you are supposed to be at."

**Note: I hope you all like it, and please excuse me if there is any grammar or spelling mistakes. I tried my hardest. I can honestly say that I did not expect this to turn out like this. I like it though, so I'm posting it. **


	5. Chapter 4: Learning the Truth In Himself

**Note: I would like to thank everyone for his or her kind reviews. It really encouraged me to get this Chapter out. I hope you all like it. And sorry that it took so long, I just started working. **

**PS- I don't own Harry Potter, I am just one of the biggest Harry Potter geeks. :P**

_Chapter 4_

_Learning the Truth in Himself_

I scrawled; I didn't have to look up to know who the person was. I shot a small glare at the shadow of the figure that was cast on the dusty wooden floor. I shook my head as I looked around for something to punch. _'No! No! No! He did not find me all ready! Does the world really have something against me?' _That was just one of the dozen of thoughts that were tearing up my mind. I found that my mind was getting so clogged up that I was forgetting to breathe. That wasn't something someone normally forgot to do. _'In… out… in… out…' _Another voice started directing my breathing pattern, which made things even more chaotic inside my mind. I wasn't a fan of these feelings that raced through my veins either. They made me feel like a bag of old, throw out, rotten scum that no one gave a slight damn about. Was that really how people thought of me?

Wait, what am I doing? Of course they don't think of me like that. I am James Sirius Potter, the best thing that had ever happened to Hogwarts, right? I am sure of it. I have always been sure of it. I have never doubted myself before, so why should I start now? What my stupid friends and family think should not matter. They are all just a big group of liars trying to tear me down in my reign of power. They were all jealous of my mad awesomeness. That was exactly it. It had to be. I wasn't like they said I was. I don't need help.

…Right?

I shook the emotions and thoughts away from my mind, and steadied myself before looking up at the mastermind behind all my suffering at the moment. The replica of Voldemolt in my eyes. The destroyer of my hopes and dreams and life. One word, three letters: Dad, who was the last person I wanted to see on the face of the earth. I'd rather be talking to some Death Eater or Voldemolt himself than the man in front of me. I hated him. I no longer wanted him as my father.

"Go away." I said with a quick glance at him. I kept eye contact away from him, because if he could get me to have eye contact with him, he would easily be able to read me. I didn't want him inside my head and understand all this, before I even knew what I was feeling. One thing I did know for sure was that there was no possible way he could get me to return back to the school with him. That choice was out of the options.

"Very rude greeting for your father." Dad said as he stared me down with his glossy emerald eyes. I hated the feeling of his eyes studying every action I made. It was like I was a suspect, who was in an interrogation.

"You haven't been a very polite person, so you don't deserve a polite greeting." I said with my back towards him. I refused to show him my face; he would know everything I wanted to hide. I was just fortunate that it was Dad here and not Mum. Mum would be able to see right through me with my back towards her; have I said that I hated it?

"James, I understand why you are mad. I should have told you that they all had a small say in it, but I knew that you would act like this. You'd get mad, and refuse to talk to anyone," said Dad, who was surprisingly clam and collective.

"Oh, so you know all my reactions now? That's fucking great now isn't it? I am a predictable, little prat, aren't I?" I hissed at him, as I turned sharply around to face him. I had enough with this shit.

"James, language." Dad told me.

I ignored him. This time my anger took control.

"Shut the hell up Dad! I don't give a fucking rat's arse about my language! If I did I wouldn't be fucking saying these fucking words now would I? I wouldn't be standing here cussing you off. What I care about? What I care about? I care about how everyone I fucking trusted turned my back on me, because of Mum and you! You think you can just show the hell up and run my life. Well, you can't! Hogwarts is my kingdom! I rule it, and you have no say in what I do or I don't do! So just save us all the time and effort and shut the fuck up! I am not going to listen to you! Never!" Part of me felt bad for cursing at him, but I needed to get the message through and standing up for myself like this was the best way I could think of. However, another part of me told me to keep going, and tear him into pieces like he had done to my life. I was a mere fool at Hogwarts now. He had defeated my reign. He should have known that I wasn't going down without a fight, a brutal brawl.

Dad had quit staring me down, but instead he was concentrating hard on the dust particles on the floor. His eyes seemed to have this odd, new, glistening gloss to them that I had only seen on them when we talked about the deaths from the war. Just not any deaths either, the deaths of his parents, Teddy's parents, Sirius, Albus Dumbledore, Severus Snape, and Uncle Fred. Instantly, I understood that I had wounded him severely. It was a bittersweet awakening, for this meant I was winning the battle, yet he was still my own father. It made me recall this one muggle movie series that Al was obsessed with, called _Star Wars_. I understood how Luke felt when he had to fight his father, Dearth Vadar.

Dad took a deep breath before saying anything.

"Your mother and I only came up with this for the best. We don't mean to hurt you, James, that is the last thing I want to do. However, I honestly believe that this will all better you in the long run." His voice cracked. An awkward silence drowned upon us, as Dad tried to keep composure.

"Now, son, please understand this. I want you to go to Savage Springs, however, if that means you refuse to return home, than it's not worth it. Just please finish the week you have left of school, then come home. Your mother went nuts when she heard you ran off. Luckily, I knew that this place here was the best hiding place a person could find. Just come home, and we can take it day by day."

Dad was really trying to keep thing under control, and I could clearly see that all this pain he was feeling was caused from my rampage moments earlier. For an odd reason, I found myself unable to quit being angry at him. He wanted me to finish my last week of school off, but how could I when I would be tortured by my peers from the incident from early. I might have tried to deny it almost every second, but my social standings ranking was low, and it had been that way for a while. No one had the guts to tell me until now.

The silence of the room seemed to burn me to the core, but I still kept in control. The last thing I needed was to break down again, and have them think that I was an insane fool, who belonged in the mental hospital. That would just ruin my reputation even more. I bit the inside of my lip in hard thought, as I went over what Dad had just offered. It seemed all right, if I didn't have to go to Savage Springs. Home was a lot better than this place here. At home, Mum always had a fresh cooked meal for us, and there was always a comfy bed to sleep in.

"I can't go back to Hogwarts." I said quietly, as I suddenly found a great interest in my shoes.

"Why is that?" Dad wandered.

"Becauseveryonewillmakefunofme…" I murmured and slurred shamefully.

"What was that?"

I could hear Dad walking up behind me. It made my stomach twist even more. I felt faint, sick, as though I was about to pass out. I concentrated even harder on my shoes, loosing myself in the coal black color of them. Stupid school shoes, they were so plain.

"Because…"

"Yes, James?"

I jumped a tad when Dad placed a hand on my shoulder. He gave it a squeeze for encouragement to speak, I believe. I wasn't quite sure. I wasn't used to actions like this from him. We normally only fought and yelled at each other. This father-son moment was an awkward time for the both of us- or well, me.

"They will make fun of me. Get back at me. I know they will. Molly, Rose, Hugo, Louis- em, well, everyone- told the whole Great Hall about how Mum and you went behind my back and talked to them. I'll- I'll…" A mixture of rage and hurt flamed inside of me. I wasn't sure what I was going to do, so I just stopped talking, and tried to breathe deep. I was pissed about how he seemed to steal the answer to the question away from me.

"Leave me alone, okay Dad? Just don't touch me, and stop talking to me. I'll go back to Hogwarts; I will finish off the term. Let's just end this talk now." I stated quickly before Dad could say another word.

"A-And forget what I had just said. They should know if they mess with me, I'll mess with them ten times worse. I am the ruler of that castle, if they like it or not. I am the fucking best." I said with my smirk snaking back on my face where it belonged. I wasn't some wimp, like Al, who actually talked to Dad or Mum about things. I took care of things on my own.

I was after all James Sirius Potter, and no one could touch what I had.

* * *

Most people would immediately come to the conclusion that I would go to the Quidditch pitch, but no, I found myself lying on my bed, with tears staining my cheeks. For some odd reason, the thought of playing Quidditch in front of everyone, pretending my teammates were actually there to cheer me on didn't make things easier. I didn't want to see my teammates again, but the whole bloody school knew I would when they returned from the game. I just had to wait it out, and try to keep together. I guess the rumor was true, even I had to break eventually, though I refused to let anyone know. They didn't need to know, they would just it against me, like I would do to them. It was as simple as that, honestly. Bloody people.

Thought of everything crossed through my jumbled mind. I gave up on trying to fight back tears; it was to tiring. I sat staring at the ceiling, however, the world was just a big blur thanks to the damned tears. I was still shook up with everything. It was like living in a nightmare that was impossible to wake up from. The worst part of it all was the knowledge that everyone out there was rooting for me to go. They'd all probably be throwing James Is Gone parties, and that stung my heart deep.

"Screw them.." I mumbled as I tossed on to my side, and frowned.

Normally, I was a move ahead of everyone, but for the first time I found that I was at least three moves behind him or her all. There was nothing I could do to change it either. They have all been planning since Summer Break, and I just found out. They finally let me in on their little secret about me.

Aggravation ran through me, and I just wanted to kill someone. My fists began to clench, as I tried my best to sort out my feelings. Suddenly, a soft hand touches my forearm, and it wasn't mine. I turned to look, and found Mum looking down at me with a weak smile. I rolled my eyes, and shrugged her hand off my arm, and stopped the tears almost immediately.

"Have you or Dad ever realized that I don't like talking to you?" I wondered.

"I know that is what you want us to think…" Mum said in a whisper. "But, love, do you really want us to ignore you? If so, then dear, know that it will never happen. We love you too much to ignore you when we know something is wrong."

I sat up, looked away, whipped the tears off my face, and blinked my puffy eyes a couple times, before shrugging in response.

"Did Dad send you up here, when he realized that his plan didn't work too bloody well?" I lightly snapped.

Mum lay a hand on my shoulder, "Actually, your father advised me to leave you alone, however, being the mother that I am, love, you know I couldn't let you get away with the language you used in front of everyone."

I looked over at her in confusion, "So you came up here to punish me?"

Mum gave a bright smile, and a small nod, "Yes, and you'd never guess what that punishment is."

"What is it?" I asked nervously.

"You get to take a nice little trip to a village named-"

"Savage Springs…" I groaned. "Really?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

Mum took a breath, and looked me in the eyes. I hated when she did that to me, it made me uncomfortable.

"Because, James, I am your mother. I know who you are, and I know you are in desperate need of help, so you can find out who you are. You somehow lost communication with yourself. I am sending you there to help you find yourself, love."

"I don't need any bloody help." I snapped.

Mum raised an eyebrow, "Really? Go look at yourself in the mirror, and then tell me that again."

We sat there just looking at each other for a moment, before anyone said anything. The silence was odd, and the tension was tense, but relaxed, which made things feel even worse. Whatever was going on, I didn't like it. I didn't like it at all.

Mum nodded in the direction of the bathroom, "Go! Look at yourself, James Sirius."

I looked at her for another moment, before slowly getting out of bed, and walking over to the bathroom. I walked inside, closed my eyes, and turned to face the mirror. I took a breath, and went to open my eyes, but failed. More thoughts of everything ran through my mind. I didn't need anything-bloody help… right? I was James Sirius Potter.

"You aren't going to see it if you keep your eyes closed, love." Mum called from the other room.

"Damn it…" I mumbled. She really did know me to well, and it pissed me off more than anything did. I couldn't get by with anything.

I honestly had no idea why I was scared, I had nothing to be afraid of. Something inside me refused to let me open my eyes. It was like it knew something I didn't know, and I hated that feeling. Biting the inside of my cheek, I took one final breath, and opened my eyes.

"Shit…" I said a little louder than I wanted.

Mum made a furious noise from the other room, which let me know she heard me, but she didn't say much more.

It was impossible for the reflection in the mirror to be who I was. It looked nothing like me. My eyes were puffy and red, and were siting in a ditch of blackness that made me look years older. My skin had a disgusting yellowish-black tone to it. It almost looked like I was completely bruised. All my muscles were gone, and my bones were almost sticking out of my skin. What got me the most was the iris of my eyes. Instead of being their normal shitty color of poop, they were completely black and lifeless.

My jaw hung open, and I was in complete utter shock. Was I really seeing what I was seeing? Was that really me? No, no, I couldn't be. I knew for a fact I was the hottest man in the school, no one could touch my hottest, right? It didn't make sense, and I was second-guessing everything I knew, and I hated it. I was beginning to find out that life was really stupid. Did I mention that I hated it?

"What you are staring at is the true way you picture yourself, love. I programmed it to show you it, because for some reason you are having some troubles admitting how you really see yourself. And listening to your very inappropriate reaction, I think you finally see it, and it worked out well." Mum said, as she stood in the doorway.

"What are you talking about Mum?" I asked in a confused tone of voice. "I was just amazed by my glorious features. I truly am the hottest person in this school." And a nice hello to my smirk that found its place on my face again. Oh, my famous smirk. How I love it.

Mum shook her head, "You say what you want. Keep denying the truth, but know dear, you will never accomplish anything in this life if you do not learn that when you have a problem you must admit it to yourself, before anyone else can help you out."

She walked over, and planted a kiss on my forehead, before walking out of the room. "Have a nice day, James." She turned before leaving the room. "Oh, and I have the mirror set that it only works on you, and you can't take it off, so enjoy looking at yourself. Perhaps, it will help your vanity problem you have." She gave me one last motherly smile, before leaving my dorm room.

_Was everyone out to get me?_

**Note: Thank you for reading. Please excuse all grammar mistakes, mostly spelling. I tried my hardest to make it good. I'll try hard to get the next Chapter up, before the end of the week, but I may not succeed. :)**


	6. Chapter 5: Realization Until Numb

**I apologize for the gap between chapters. I have had a form of writers block recently, but I had promised I would finish this story,a nd plus I'm in love with this story, so I shall be updating it again. I really hope you are all statisfried with this chapter, becasue trust me, I worked hard on it. It took me three months to figure out exactly how I wanted it to go. I missed writing as James. I love his character.**

**And remember all reviews are loved and charished, plus I appriciate comments that help my writing. I love hearing back from my readers. **

* * *

Grinning foolish, I stumbled into the common room. I plopped myself down on the couch beside Freddie, and let out a sigh of satisfaction. I inhaled deeply, before running a hand through my hair mindlessly, and saying, "Number twenty-six. Who's your Daddy?" I slapped his arm, and reclined back into the couch. "I believe that means I am currently in the lead. I'm winning this damned competition, like anyone could beat me anyway."

Freddie scrunched his face up in confusion, and shook his head. "There is no competition. I don't know what you are talking about?"

I blinked a couple of times, and swatted the air. I laughed, "Mate, your joking! You know, that competition on who could sleep with more girls before term ended? Everyone knows about it. Please don't tell me you didn't know about it. I mean, then I'd have to look at you like an Al." I cracked up at the thought of that. Freddie cooped up studying all night long? That I would pay to see.

He only shook his head slowly. Henry looked up from the Wizard Chess game he was in the middle of, and added, "James, there is no competition. We have no idea what you are talking about."

My jaw dropped. They were Albuses. They were not my friends; they were strangers. I gapped at them for a moment, before saying, "You lot have to be on something! We came up with this competition the other day!"

Sean shook his head from the other side of the chess game. "Have you've been drinking?"

I glanced at him strangely, "Yeah, I always do. Want some?" My last question had my voice filled with excitement; just thinking about one of our legendary parties drove me crazy. Girls would be there, which meant their parts were there, which mean I was a very happy man. Very happy.

Freddie looked at me with a serious facial expression that I had never seen before from him, "How much have you've drank James?"

"Eh, only like six or seven, maybe eight or nine, perhaps ten drinks... I think..." I tried to count the number on my fingers, but got side tracked at the fact of how my fingers were bending.

As I examined my hand, part of me heard a whispered conversation between the friends. I scrunched my face, as I listened into what they had to say. Who were they and where were my real mates?

"He is wasted." Sean whispered.

"I say past. We know how well he can tolerate drinking." Freddie added in.

"I believe he would be categorized as a functional drunk. He can talk and appear to be sober when in reality, he is past his limit." Henry said with a frown.

"Do you reckon that he remembers the fight in the Great Hall?"

Yes, yes Sean, I did remember that incident very clearly.

"Or how about that he hasn't talked to us all week since then?"

Wait, what? A week? They have to be joking. It has only been a day. Yes, a day. Right after dad talked with me, I got wasted in the Hogshead, and now I was here.

"Do you reckon we play along with it?"

"I guess this explains why he hasn't been in class."

"His parent's are gonna kill him. There is no way that he is going to be over this by the time we get home later. We start boarding in two hours."

Were they on something too? We still had a full week before having to board. I still had a full week. Right? I had too.

"Do you think he even packed?"

"Doubt it."

"He is going to have one nasty hangover later."

"Definitely."

I grinned and laughed. I understood what they were doing. They were trying to fool me, mess with my head. Well, I caught them in the middle of their prank. "Mates, c'mon, I am not falling for that trick. I see what you three are trying to do. Clever, but not clever enough to fool me. You should know that. I am the mastermind of this school. We still have a full week here." I rested my head, and smirked, "Nice try though." I was still untouchable. Of course I was though, I was James Sirius Potter.

Freddie sighed deeply, before speaking very slowly to me.

"James, today is the end of term. I don't know what you have been doing this past week or what you were on, but it's time to leave for home. You have to a third of your classes, and you seemed fine. We all thought you were getting over yourself. You haven't talked to any of us since the fight in the Great Hall, and you haven't even showed up for Quidditch." Freddie explained.

Quidditch, we didn't have any Quidditch. I was fine, perfectly fine. Sure, i was a bit tipsy, but I wasn't drunk. I wasn't. I remembered everything just fine.

"You guys are unbelievable. I all ready told you I realized this is only a prank." I snapped.

Henry leaned in and whispered something like, "We need to talk about things that he actually cares about," but I wasn't really paying attention. I had just noticed how tall the windows were in the common room. You could fit an elephant through them. I smirked, I had discovered my next prank. It would go down in history. Now, where would I find an elephant.

"James?"

"Huh, yeah Sean?" I asked, as I dazed out of my planning.

"You honestly don't remember anything?"

"No, I remember everything."

"I mean, you don't remember this past week?"

"It's only been a night."

"No, it hasn't. Go read the bulletin board over on the wall. There is states that on December 12th, the Gryffindor Captain was changed to Al. Plus, how could you have possibly added six more girls on your list in one night?"

I shook my head, "Now, this is getting dirty. You know my worst fear is for Al to get Captain over me. This is quite hurtful." I placed a hand on my chest, and shook my head playfully. "And why wouldn't I sleep with so many girls in one night? Girls come crawling to me."

Freddie shook his head, he seemed to be getting annoyed with me. Maybe, he should think out better plans if he were going to get annoyed over me catching on. He pointed over to the bulletin board, and ordered, "Go, read, if you don't believe us."

I rolled my eyes, and quickly flipped them off, before casually stumbling over to the board. Right in the middle was a notice attaining Quidditch. They were faggots. They really wanted me to believe them, didn't they? They even went through the trouble of writing up a fake letter saying I was dropped as Captain. This was quite humorous.

_December 12th_

_I would like to inform the Gryffindor House that their Quidditch Captain, James Potter, has been removed from the team, and the Captain position has been awarded to Albus Potter, who I know will do a splendid job taking you to the championships. _

"You guys went through a lot of trouble to," I stopped mid-sentence. My eyes barged out of my head, and I felt defeat. On the bottom of the note was the signature of Professor McGonagall, and all the reasons I spent the last week drunk were relived in my head.

_"Professor, you needed me?" I spoke with a wide smirk on my face. I was aware of what I had done, I came to class past drunk, but I didn't mind. I wasn't afraid of the old rat. What was the worse she could do?_

_"James, sit down." Professor's voice was tight and strict. She had told me last time that she had enough of my snide remarks and my outrageous behavior. _

_I did, as I was told, and asked, "I'm on a tight schedule, can we make this quick?" I gave her a flash of my amazing smile, and leaned back in the chair. "You know, I know a Quidditch practice to attend."_

_She sternly looked me in the eyes, and I swore I saw a small smirk make it's way on to her face, when she replied, "No, no you actually have no plans for today. I have removed you from the Quidditch team. I have had the final straw from you."_

_My jaw dropped. I stood up in rage, and yelled, "You can't do that! I am the bloody Captain of the team! That team is going nowhere without me! I make up that team!" _

_She simply shook her head. _

_"I can, and I will. Albus has replaced you as Captain, and he did a fine job yesterday, when you decided to skip."_

_This was cruel, cruel abuse. My heart sank, and I collapsed back into the chair. I stared at her for a moment, before quickly directing my attention to the floor. "Al...?" I whispered allowed to myself. "Captain...?" I shook my head; it couldn't be true. They all ready prefect kid of the family got even more spotlight. He did even have to bloody try to get friends, I had to morph into some monster for people to recognize me. He didn't have to study, and Dad looked at him as some gift from above. I never heard Dad criticize him, never. Even when I let it slipped that Al lost it with his girlfriend, dad just seemed distressed, his voice never raised. I had finally lost the one thing I was good at. I lost the one thing I was known for. I lost my identity, and the rest that followed meant nothing to me._

_"You may go, Mr. Potter. You'll be attending the detention I have set up from you in the trophy room tonight during the time that practice should have been." _

_I nodded slowly, before getting up and leaving. I didn't return to the common room, but instead, I sneaked out to the HogsHead. What happened after that I have no clue of. I just drank, and drank, passed out, then woke up and drank some more. Occasionally, I returned to attend class, and to get a good snog action with some girls, but then I returned to my sanctuary. Then, I drank some more._

I didn't know whether I was angrier with them or myself? They had to remind me didn't they? And I had to get drunk and forget to just relive the painful moment again. I looked down in defeat and just stood there reading the small name written on the letter. No, not mine, but Al's. Al had always gotten what he wanted, I always came second best. Then, the time when I actually did something and did exceedingly well at it, I screw it up and hand it straight over to Al.

"You all right?" Freddie wondered curiously from behind me.

"Doesn't matter if I am or if I am not." I shrugged.

"Well...er...um..." He seemed to try and conjure up some words to help me.

I took a deep breath, and forced a smirk on my face. I turned around to face Freddie, and said, "All that doesn't matter though. Al can have Quidditch, but I still got the personality and good looks." I spoke entirely too egotistically for how I felt. In my mind, I didn't know what to do, and in my heart, I felt a million of tiny pieces of glass jab me. I was not whole anymore, or sane. I knew where I was at and that was at the edge. If my family thought that sending me off to small muggle town was going to fix all this, they were wrong. For some reason down inside me, I refused to change, though I knew I was so far off from me that it was pitiful. I drew everything down to one decision, this James got what he wanted. The other only thrived for greatness in the back of the crowd, as the spotlight for his father and his father's clone got all the attention from everyone. That was how 'other James' morphed into 'this James'. I knew it was. I wasn't morphing back either. I wasn't going to return to those times.

Freddie's face fell, "C'mon mate, quit it."

Acting. Such a incredible invention. "Quit what?"

"You know what I mean."

"I am sorry, I do not comprehend. Please explain." I had more wit in my voice than usual, and my smirk grew bigger.

"James, really?"

"Really? I don't know if it is a really. I don't know what you are talking about."

I began walking towards the stairs that led up to the boys' dormitory. Freddie followed me to the foot of the stairs, and I could feel my peers' eyes glued to us. I fucking loved that feeling. I was the center of attention, I was James Sirius Potter, and I was back, mostly...

"You are acting like a prat." Freddie called out.

"I am sorry. My ears decided to shut you out for the moment's being, if you would like to record a message, please do so after the beep. Fucking beep." I laughed, as I began up the stairs.

Freddie stopped walking after me, but instead just yelled, "What a message? All right! Grow the fuck up James! No one here wants to baby-sit you any longer!"

I placed a hand over my heart, and frowned. Words were such painful things, they really dug deep into one's soul and began to morph them into some sort of beast. Beast James was in service and he was not giving up without a fight. Freddie's words couldn't damage me, he wasn't powerful at all...

Acting. Did I say how great of an invention it was?

I slammed open the door, and stormed over to my bed. _Pack James. You need to pack. Just cool down, and start packing. You'll soon be home. I snarled at that thought. Home, home with the group of traitors who were related to me by blood. They were not family. Family wouldn't do this to each other. They wouldn't. Never._

I began throwing things into my trunk, not caring whether I broke items or not. Everything was bound to break in the end; it was how life work. I finished collecting my belongings in the main room, and went off in search of my things that were left in the bathroom. It wasn't hard to find my things, for everyone else seemed all ready pack. I swiftly turned the corner into the bathroom to come face to face with the mirror. I let out a painfully sigh, as I stood in defeat. I had forgotten about my enemy that was in front of me. Mum had to come up with ideas let this; she had too. I closed my eyes, and walked over to the sink where my toothbrush and other appliances lay.

_Don't look James. Don't look. Don't be weak. Just don't look._

I gasped.

I looked.

My appearance had immensely changed since the last time I had looked into the mirror. The circles around my eyes were darker and droopier. The brown in my eyes that had small rings of light blue in them had faded into a color that was almost gray. My skin looked raw, but did not contain the raw color of pink. Instead, it was worn out and yellowish-gray. Where my hair belonged contained nothing except small pieces of dead hair sticking up in random places, and my teeth that I had in the reflection were yellow and brown. My lips that so many girls had said were the softest things they felt against them were chapped and bleeding. My muscles had disappeared, and I was just skin and bones. I was nothing.

By the time I snapped out of the trance I had fallen into, I was shaking. I furiously blinked back hot tears that swelled in my eyes. Tears? That meant I was on the verge of crying, and James Potter did not cry. I had to find something to destroy the vulnerability that the mirror had given me. I frantically looked around, and stumbled to my trunk. I began to throw my things back out of it in search of my twelve pack that I knew was in there. I placed it there the other night. Was it gone all ready? Ha, no! Victory! With eight cans still on it, as well.

I quickly pulled a bottle of firewhiskey out of the carrier, and opened it. I chugged it down, and once it was empty, I still didn't felt satisfied. Bottle number two...three...four... Somewhere within the mist of alcohol and emotion, everything fell numb. I pinched myself as hard as I could, and felt nothing. Laughing, I grabbed my razor and gently slid in across my left forearm. A cut was created and blood spilled out slowly, but no pain. I was in pure bliss. Nothing was better than this. This was where I enjoyed living life, somewhere between life and death. Somewhere where I could not be harmed. Somewhere where...

Light began to fade from around me, and I was falling into a dark pit. I quickly glanced around me to gain composure, before hitting the bottom of hole. My vision was gone along with my sanity.

* * *

Voices. I heard voices. Loud voice, painful voice. Distant voices. Voices that were completed with a beeping noise. Blackness. I saw blackness. Small streams of vibrant lights began to pop into my eyesight. More light, and more lights. Soon, the vibrant lights morphed into a room. The whitest room I had ever been in. I would have figured that I had passed on, if I hadn't fell eye to eye with my father. I let out a painful groan, which made the redhead woman, who was chatting with the doctor, turn around quickly. Mum... I sneered. If I had passed on, I must have fallen from grace, because I had to be in hell.

"James, love, you are awake!" Mum rushed over to me, and placed her hand on my hand, and kissed my forehead lightly.

I nodded slowly, not really feeling up to talking. I knew they were only going to twist everything I said around and turned me into some villain. I was not a villain, no. They were the insane ones.

"You remember anything?" Dad asked. I groaned, as i realized he was studying me again. I wasn't an animal in a cage, and they should know that.

I blinked a couple of times. Did I remember anything? Bits and pieces, yes. The entire thing, no. I recall Henry saying that I was a functional drunk. Perhaps, I was. That would be bloody awesome. I could drink all I wanted, and I could still be functional. I could remain numb, and still seem sober. I was granted a gift, and I would use it well.

"James, do you or do you not remember anything?" Dad asked again. This time his voice grew louder and stricter.

I shrugged, "Some, why?" My voice sounded weird. It was dry and airy. It made me cringe.

"Okay, then what do you remember?" I wasn't some crook that dad had to interrogate, so why did he always treat me like one?

I remained silent. I tried to piece the events into a time frame. I almost had it prefect when Dad repeated the question.

This time I snapped.

"I don't have to bloody tell you a damn thing. Leave me the fuck alone. I thought I all ready told you that."

Welcome home rage. You were missed.

"James Sirius, I swear I will,"

"Harry, leave him alone. Will get the answer later, let him rest some. He needs it." Mum said with a small smile. She took a hold of Dad's hand and squeezed it, as she quickly glanced over at me.

Dad nodded, and kissed the top of her head. "You're right love. He is still probably mad about before..."

"The genius has finally said a correct answer." I smart-mouthed him, while awarding him a round of applause.

"James, love, please don't start this." Mum said, as Dad paced back and forth, probably biting his tongue from speaking.

"Start what? I dunno what I am starting. Last thing I remember was that this was started by the genius over there." I nodded towards Dad, who seemed to be concentrating on the floor. I laughed to myself. I knew that trick. I was getting to Dad, and I wasn't going to stop until he broke. He needed to shatter; he needed to feel the pain he had caused me. After he broke, then Mum got a worthy taste of it. They must feel like failures of parents.

"You need to show your father some respect." Mum ordered firmly.

I laughed, and cocked my head back into the pillow some more. "Ah, how about no?"

"James." Mum warned, I disregarded her. I wasn't afraid. They were all ready sending me away, what else could they do?

"I don't have to do a damn thing if I don't feel like I should. I don't feel like Dad has done anything to be respected for or even be worth the name as Dad. Draco Malfoy is as much as a Dad to me, as him."

"James Sirius." Mum repeated.

Oh, but I had more.

"And I really don't see why everyone is so far up Dad's arse. You see, I don't understand how someone who murdered three fourths of his peers from school, his parents, godfather, Teddy's parents, and his own wife's older brother should be recognized as a hero." I saw the light drain from Dad's eyes. I have all ready won, and I still wasn't done.

"James, don't you dare bring that up." Mum yelled.

"All ready have." I said with one of my cocky smiles.

"You're father didn't have a choice!"

"Yes, yes he did. He could have turned himself up to Voldemolt quicker than he did. None of them would be dead probably. None. Well, er, except his parents. They'd still be dead." I commented. I had gathered my facts, and now I was able to use them against him.

"He had to find things before he could defeat Voldemolt. It wasn't that simple, son."

I looked at Mum, then dad with my eyebrows raised, before saying smoothly, "Or was it?"

That was it, Dad left the room with his head hanging. I had victory over him, I was the stronger man than him. That shows him for messing with me and destroying me and ruining my life. That showed him.

One parent down. One to go.

Mum and I sat in silence for a while, before she got up and kissed the top of my head. "James, know that when you are done with this little act you are putting on that you owe your father an apology. You will apologise to him, but whichever way you choose to go, you are still definitely going to Savage Springs for a while. Oh, and don't worry. I'll be informing your guardian over there about your drinking problem that you apparently have. So rest up, and you should be released in a day or so, they wanna make sure that that cut on your arm is nothing to fret about, and you'll be home for the holidays. Isn't that just wonderful."

She then turned and left the room, but before she left she whispered something that made my face go red.

"And don't worry, I'll be sure to tell the entire family and your friends about this little incident. Plus, we will just get the story from them. Then, you can explain everything to them over dinner, and apologise, so you'll have a clean slate when you go to Savage Springs."

Apologise? James Sirius Potter does not apologise. I mean every word that I spoke. So fuck you Mum. Fuck you.

* * *

**Yay! I finished! I hope everyone enjoyed it. I had to have a Chapter where James started seeing the flaws in himself as well. I really like the turn out for this Chapter, and I hope you all do too. Remember I love your reviews. They keep me going. I'm going to start on the next Chapter tomorrow. **

**Love you all my readers. **

**Did you like it? If you would change one thing what would that be and why? What don't you like about it? Do enjoy the storyline? What do you enjoy most of it, and why? What do you think of my writing skills?**

**Please answer those questions above, and all your words will be taken and I will try to manage to fix the next Chapter into something that you will enoy perhaps better than this one.**

**Oh, and if everything goes as planned, james will be arriving at Savage Springs by the end of the next Chapter, and he will be meeting Seleana again by the next Chapter, though he may not remember everything right away. Remembering will probably not occur till later in the story. Just thought I'd give you a heads up. I have had reviews asking about when he was going to get to Savage Springs. Well, there you go. **

**-randomgirloutthere110 (:**


	7. Chapter 6: Chaos

**Yay! Everyone should be proud of me! I updated sooner than usual! I plan to finish this chapter than the next chapter by Thursday. I feel that my readers deserve that much. I just want to say how much I love you all again. I don't care if there is a million readers or only one, I am thankful of you and I don't know how I should repay you. Perhaps, I shall take time to read some of your fanfics. That sounds nice, well, how about I finish these next few chapters first though? I believe that it will help me keep with this story. I really wanna get to the part where Seleana and James meet and it should be soon. **

**Anyway, I should shut up and get on with the story.**

**PS: I don't own Harry Potter sadly. **

* * *

Green flames engulfed me, tugging me in different directions that made me want to puke up the small breakfast I had. Eventually, the feeling faded and I was standing in the fireplace in Grandmum's kitchen. I rolled my eyes and sighed deeply. Oh great, this was going to fucking fantastic. I could all ready feel eyes on me before I even opened my own. Did I dare to move? I wasn't so positive about it. An awkward silence doomed the rather large kitchen, and I heard a familiar cough. Dad. Dad was sitting at the table. Shit. Light fingernails tapped the wooden table. That narrowed down to Mum or Grandmum, all the other women in the family who had fingernails wouldn't be in till Christmas Dinner. Thank Merlin. Chairs were moving. Damn. Someone was walking... away from me?

I opened my eyes, and saw Dad excusing himself from the table.

"Thank you Molly for the wonderful tea. I should be going to check on some paperwork." Dad wore a grin, but his eyes told me that he was still damaged from my words. I had truly won. A feeling inside seemed to strangle my heart letting me know that maybe I wasn't the one, who won in the end after all. Perhaps, they weren't the villains, but I was.

I stepped out of the fireplace to find that Mum was the one that was tapping her fingernails on the table. She had a cup of tea in her hands, and she was staring straight at me. She took her time, taking a sip of her drink before swallowing, and smiling at me.

"Feeling any guilt yet, love?"

I rolled my eyes. Of course, she would be the one to bring up all that. I shrugged, and starting making my way to the door.

"James, please not today. Cut the crap today." Mum warned.

"Cut the crap," I mimicked, "Oh, shut up." I snapped as I turned to face her.

Grandmum's eyes seemed to bulge out of her head. She stood up from her seat and raised her eyebrow at me. "You do not treat your parents like this. Now, no ifs or buts, you will apologise and sit down. I will make you a cup of tea, and you will talk with your grandfather, mother, and me. Understood young man?" Grandmum was not one to fight with. I knew that hell would only raise if I opened my mouth to say the witty remark that my tongue pleaded to speak.

I nodded and took a sit, and calmly accepted the cup of tea from Grandmum, though I didn't dare drink it. I knew my family, and I knew that they would spill some Veritaserum to get answer out of me, if that was what they felt was necessary. I would not fall for such childish tricks, I would not tell a single soul anything. Who the hell did they think they were anyway? Certainly not geniuses, there was no doubts about that.

Mum nodded at the drink, "Drink up James."

I smirked, "Hell no."

"Language." Grandmum and Mum both warned.

"Fuck no." I made sure I emphasized the first word. I dragged it out and felt every movement my tongue made to pronounce it.

"James!" Mum yelled.

"Disrespectful."

"Unbelievable."

I laughed, "Yeah, so? Is this describe James Day?"

"That comment was not needed, young man." Oho, Mum sent me the look.

"I-I think I might shit myself Mum! Please! I beg you! Don't look at me like that!" I laughed harder.

Mum put her head in her hands, she looked like I had defeated her. If only she knew that I still had more for her. Things were working out perfectly, so why did I feel sick to my stomach?

"Arthur, help." Grandmum ordered.

Granddad just placed his hands in the air as though he was surrendering. "I have nothing to say,"

"That's it? You are just going to let him disrespect us like this?" Grandmum yelled.

"If you hadn't interrupted me, Molly, I would have said that I had nothing to say in front of you two. I would like a little talk with James, alone." Granddad spoke calmly, and folded his hands.

Mum sent him a warningful look, "Dad, are you sure? He is getting really good at using people's regrets against them. Just look at Harry..."

I cringed as she brought that back up again. She couldn't just drop it, and I couldn't just keep Beast James inside. He needed out. He wanted to be free, he thrived to take over me...

"I did do a brilliant job with that, didn't I? He refused to look at me when I arrived here." I smirked, and leaned back in my chair.

I cursed under my breath after I spoke. Beast James had won, and I couldn't do a thing about it except go along with it and acting like I was perfectly fine. There was nothing wrong with me. Nothing was wrong with James Sirius Potter, and that was who I was. I was in the middle of my reign, and no one was going to destroy it. I was stronger than everyone else, and I laughed at their pitiful ways. They would just never learn. Never.

"Damn it James!"

"Whoa Mum, you got a mouth on you! You need to watch your language!" I advised.

Grandmum shook her head, and stood up to drag Mum out of the room. "Ginny, dear, let's go check on Harry. Leave him with your dad, all right?" Mum muttered something, before exiting the room with Grandmum.

Granddad stared at me. I stared at him. We kept eye contact, and stayed silent. I wasn't going to be the first to speak, so I left that to him. I was going to win this staring contest. James Sirius Potter always won everything.

"I don't believe I need to say anything to you, son. I believe that you know your wrong doings, but are too afraid to make right of them. I'm not going to sit here and fight with you, because I feel that would only be a waste of time." Granddad got up and walked over to me. He placed a hand on my shoulder and whispered, "I feel Savage Springs will do you well, and I know you feel the same. So don't object to me." And with that he left the room to leave me alone.

I hated that word. Alone. It made everything good a drag. It simply sucked more than normal life. I needed firewhiskey, but I knew they took everything off me once I was sent to St. Mungos. The only thing that I hated more than what just occurred was that I knew Granddad was right. If sending me off to Savage Springs would get Beast James gone for good, than I was all for it. Only if I could fight Beast James off long enough to change. Recently, he had been more irritated and stronger. He liked to fight more, and I fear that was because something new was beginning to awaken inside of me, and Beast James did not like it at all. If only I knew what it was...

* * *

The next few days or two dragged on slowly. There wasn't one day that was fight free, and someone always ended up in tears (Mum or Grandmum usually). Dad started to try and talk to me again after a week of silence, and I found that he came back with twice as much strength. Which was a major screw you towards me. I just wanted everything to stop, and when things finally started calming down the rest of the family was tumbling in (along with everyone's friends) and getting into business that didn't belong to them. For some old reason, Freddie, Henry, and Sean seemed to defend me when Victoire or Lucy even Molly began talking about me behind my back. I made sure to painfully thank the guys for it. By the time I truly had a grip on everything again, I was sitting at Grandmum's table stuffing my plate with more food than normal. Yes, the day had arrived: Christmas.

Granddad cleared his throat from the far end of the table. He raised his wineglass into the air and spoke, "I would like to say a couple wise words that I was once told to you all." I swore he looked at me. Why did he look at me?

"Family may bend and bend until the point of breaking. We may try to get on each other's nerves hoping that it will bring us peace in our mind. Cruel words and unforgivable actions are made to each other, but in the end of the day we have nothing left except family. Family knows where to find us when we seemed to have lost ourselves, and even though we may deny it, we know they love us until the end. Let's take this day to celebrate what a loving family we are gracious for. So, I say let's make a toast. A toast to the never ending love that a family has."

By the end of the speech, I looked around to see everyone with his or her glasses raised. I scrunched up my face and shook my head no.

"We are still waiting for one more glass." Bill said with a smile.

I played with my fork on the table. This time Beast James didn't have to come to ruin everything, this time I did it all on my own. The words just sort of spilled out of me, and I had no control.

"No, go a head and make the shitty toast without me. I'll be fine. I don't like toasting to things that are really bullshit." I looked up at everyone, and I could see Mum roll her eyes, and Dad lean back in his chair. Al mouthed, 'Not today, please...' to me, and Lily banged her head off the table. Grandmum looked furious, and Granddad looked humorous... Wait, what? Granddad sat amongst the shocked family, but wore a wide grin. And was he laughing?

I shot him a glare, "Is there something humorous with what I said?"

He rested his glass back on to the table and smiled, "No, it's just you are a rather predictable fellow." I scoffed at his words.

"Oh, am I?"

"You see, I have just been observing you these past few nights, and well, I have noticed a pattern in your behavior."

"Observing me? I'm not some bloody animal! You don't observe people!" I snapped.

"Yes, you do, especially when you are trying to learn something about them." Granddad said with a raise of his eyebrow. "Now, I would like to say that you are very small minded for a kid."

I placed the back of my hand to my forehead, and acting though i was about to faint. "Oh, that hurt so bad. How will I ever survive?"

Mum gave him a pleading look. "Dad, please, just drop it."

He looked offended. "No, I will not drop it."

"Arthur, please." Grandmum asked with hopeful eyes. Granddad answered that with the shake of his head.

"I personally would like to hear what he has to say." Dad said with a smile directed at Granddad.

"I am not entirely sure what's going on, but it seems entertaining, so please carry on." Roxanne was the first cousin to speak her mind. She seemed to always be that cousin. I sent her a confused look, and she shrugged. She always loved drama. Stupid girl.

The rest of the table remained silent. They all knew about the incident from school, thanks to Freddie, Henry, and Sean, but they did not know about the war going on the past couple of weeks. I had a feeling they were about to get more information than I preferred. I didn't want my friends to know what I was like, and I didn't want the rest of them to know. It wasn't their damn business and they needed to stay out of it. Bloody family.

"Now, I am sure you are all aware that James seems to have a bit of an anger issue. He doesn't like not getting his way, and he seems to enjoy tearing other people apart limb from limb." Granddad began and my heart sank.

"Just like when he awoke after having his stomach pumped, he seemed to enjoy using Harry's regrets against him. Right there, goes to show that James is not stupid. He knows what he is doing, and I am sure guilt is ringing throughout his head, but he can't seem to be able to stop until tears are shed. Like the other night, Al, do you remember what you two were arguing about?" He looked over at Al, who nodded slowly. Delilah seemed to have blushed a deep color of scarlet. Apparently, Al had talked to her about the conversation that had. Granddad gestured for Al to speak up. He weakly looked over to Delilah, who returned a look similar to the one Al gave her.

"I prefer not to say anything, as it is Christmas and everything..." Al blushed a deep shade of red, and I chuckled to myself.

"Dad, I believe that was a family decision between Harry, James, Al, and me." Mum added. She was a bit furious that he brought it up.

"Why wasn't I invited to it?" Lily pouted, and folded her arms across her chest. "Am I not part of the family anymore?"

"It was a shame you weren't there, it was rather entertaining." I smirk, as I recalled the events.

"Actually, I believe it was a family decision between you, Al , and me. James just joined in." Dad commented.

"Whatever it was, Dad, how did you hear about it?" Mum questioned.

"Aw, Ginny, don't you know, I know everything that goes on within this house. I have it- what is that muggle phrase- ah, yes! I have it wired!" Granddad said, he seemed satisfied that he remembered the saying. I shook my head. You could change the time and date, but the people never changed.

Mum rolled her eyes, and Dad looked rather interested for more.

Granddad shook his head. "Al, please say the topic of the conversation."

"MeandDelilahdoingit."

"Uh, I can't hear you. You seem to be mumbling."

Al took in a deep breath, before quickly blurting out, "Ah, well, um, er, well...Delilah and I slept together."

Rose patted Al on the shoulder, and whispered something into his ear, where Dominique did the same to Delilah, who was almost in tears. I couldn't help, but sit back and watch everything blow up to pieces for Al. There was a feeling, a mixture of guilt and pleasure, as I saw Delilah's and his world come crashing down. There was a lot of chatter about how unexpected it was of Al to do that, but then Victoire justified that they had been together for almost a year, and the discussion just got louder. Normally, I would have taken this to my advantage and escaped, but it was too funny to ditch.

Grandmum was throwing a tantrum. Aunt Fleur and Uncle Bill were yelling at Victoire about how seven months was still not long enough to perform such tasks. Uncle George made everything a joke, which pissed off Aunt Angelina, so they were in a heated argument. Uncle Charlie was yelling at Granddad for bringing such manners up at the dinner table. Granddad sat there smiling like some fool. I swore that he had to have gone crazy. Uncle Percy and Molly were dissing everyone like they were above everyone else. Those prats. Lucy was laughing hysterically along with Roxanne, who joined in on Uncle George's joke. Aunt Audrey seemed to just sit back and watch everything unfold before her. Uncle Ron said a rude comment to Mum that drove Aunt Hermione up the wall. Hugo seemed to be more concentrated on his parents' argument than Al's secret. Mum was trying to calm down Grandmum the best she could, and Dad gave Al sincere looks. Louis, Freddie, Henry, and Sean were collecting data for blackmail against everyone. Finally, there was Lily and Teddy who were in a heated conversation. This was fucking brilliant.

"Excuse me! Excuse me! Everyone shut it!" Aunt Audrey yelled above the noise. Soon everyone's voice faded into a low whisper. She stood up and looked at Granddad. "How does this connect to the main situation in the first place? I don't see anything about James in this."

"Shit..."

People eyed me.

"Damn it, I said that out loud didn't I?"

I gave a cheeky smile to hopefully get the spotlight off of me. The one time I didn't want the spotlight I had it, and the times when I would die for it, Al had it. Funny wasn't it?

Granddad looked pleased, "Well, before everyone blew up on each other, I was going to ask Al another question." He looked at everyone, before continuing. "Albus, at what point did James interrupt your conversation?"

Al bit his lip, before carefully saying, "When I was arguing with Mum and Dad about how I loved Delilah." He looked at her with a grin. Their cheeks were no longer florid, but instead they were eyeing each other. It was disgusting. So disgusting that I couldn't help but pretend to vomit when he spoke the word love.

"James, you still aren't going on about that, are you?" Dominique asked.

"What exactly am I going on about?" I asked in return.

"You know what I mean!"

"Actually, I do not know what you mean."

"Don't be like this! I will tell."

"You wouldn't. I don't think you are strong enough."

"Wanna bet?" Dominique sent me a veela smile, and then turned to face the rest of the family. "Of course, James would interrupt during that part of the conversation. According to him, there is no such thing as love. He told Amelia that when he broke up with her." Dom said it quickly, but firmly. I hated her at the moment.

"I was never dating her!" I yelled out.

"Then, what would you call your relationship status with her?" Dom asked.

I had never noticed how bitter she was until now.

"We were strangers who occasionally- well... yeah..." I looked down at my plate.

"Just like you were with Hayley, Marissa, Whitney, Janet, Miranda,"

"Hey! Miranda and I were actually strangers. I never knew her until that whole Three Broomsticks thing."

"You mean Amelia's and your anniversary."

"How could we have possibly had an anniversary if we weren't dating?" I yelled. She was frustrating. I hated her.

"Dominique, understand why you are mad, but let me settle this, okay?" Dad was the one to break up the fight. I sent him a death glare.

He turned to me. He stared at me over the top of his round glasses. "I actually believe that she was missing a few things. If I remembered correctly, you once told me that respect, faith, and love didn't matter. I believe it was when I decided to hand you those tickets."

I groaned and ran my hand threw my hair. "Really Dad? You wanna bring the past up? Well, how about I just remind you of all the bloody people you pretty much murdered?"

Dad gave me a stern look.

"James Sirius! I swear, if you bring that up one more time,"

"Dad murdered a whole bunch of people! Okay, what's gonna happen Mum?" I asked eagerly.

Mum looked outraged, but it was Dad who spoke first.

"James, I don't know whether you just enjoy fighting, or tearing people apart, but one thing I know for sure is that this is not you. Who the hell are you?"

I grumbled something under my breath, and slammed my plate so it went flying across the table, and landed on Rose, who shrieked. I didn't care though, I just got up and walked out of the room. I had to have some sort of alcohol left, right? They couldn't have found all my stashes.

As I left the room, I heard Granddad say a speech, which made me cringe.

"That was the worst and best question you could have said to the boy, Harry, because that is the first question he asks himself in the morning, and the last question he asks himself everyday."

Granddad had marched his way on to my hate list.

* * *

I remained cooped up in my room for the rest of break. I just wanted to get the hell out of there before everyone was able to read my thoughts. It was bad enough they knew my feelings and who I was better than I did. Savage Springs was actually starting to look like a savior. It'd save me from the crap i was being put though on a daily basis. At least, now that I made it my number priority to avoid everyone, the fighting seemed to have stopped. I didn't enjoy fighting, it just came to me, and I just dealt with it.

A knock on the door killed my train of thought, and I rolled over on to my back, flipped open a Quidditch magazine, and called out, "Yes?"

"Can I come in?"

I groaned, "I guess Dad."

The door creaked open, and Dad stepped into the room. He made sure to shut it, before walking over, and sitting on the edge of my bed. We shared a long awkward silence, before finally I had to speak up.

"Did you need something?" I began flipping through the pages of it. I didn't want dad to know just how awkward I felt in the situation. A part of me begged to apologise to him, and crawl up in his lap to just be with him. But that was nonsense, cause I clearly couldn't fi tin his lap, and the words 'I'm sorry' are poisonous to my tongue. If I happened to say them, my tongue would fall numb, and I wouldn't be able to say anything at all. And I just wouldn't settle for that.

"Your train leaves tonight. It's a sorter trip than it is to Hogwarts. You'll get there overnight." I nodded. It was nothing I didn't know. I half-heartily was excited to go. Dad looked at me, and stuttered, "I don't know how you feel, but your mother and I feel that one of us should escort you to the village, just to make sure everything goes fine and you find Mr. Heinnings all right."

I looked up to him and shrugged, "If you want to come along, sure I guess." I was too emotionally tired to fight that day. All the drama from the prior week wore me down.

Dad nodded, "Well, do you want your mother or me to go with you then?"

"Who knows the guy better?"

"Well, I do. I met him after I _murdered all those people." Dad tried to make a light joke, but we both knew it was fail._

Instead, it just reminded me of how crappy of a son I was. That felt truly amazing.

I didn't look up from the page I was staring at.

"Then, you, I guess. You know him better." I mumbled.

Dad nodded, before getting up and walking out of the room. He looked back at him and asked, "You packed?"

I nodded only once.

He let out a sigh, and said, "You know this isn't punishment."

"Then what is it?" I asked. This time I actually looked at him.

"Space and time. Just a break from right now." Dad told me.

"Everything was fine until you bought those tickets!" I said, as I sat up on my bed.

Dad gave me a curious look. He stayed silent for a moment before asking, "Was it really?"

That question gave me something to ponder about for the rest of the day, the trip to King's Cross-Station, and most of the train ride. It felt so odd to be on a train and to not be heading to Hogwarts, my kingdom. I was being torn apart from the one place I loved most, where I ruled, right? Perhaps, Dad was right. Maybe everything wasn't right for a long time. Maybe everything was just building up until I finally cracked, and I was pretty sure I did. I cracked, exploded really, and made a complete and utter fool out of myself. I was not longer a king, but a mere peasant rooming the streets looking for shelter. Did I let the others know that though, hell no? Plus, I was heading to a place where no one knew me, so I would just merrily make myself king there. I was sure people wouldn't be able to resist my charm. After all, I was James Sirius Potter, the best thing that had ever happened to this world.

Dad and I stayed in an awkward silence for most of the train ride, occasionally; we would have a normal conversation that actually contained no screaming. It was a bit satisfying that we could sit and talk without fighting every now again. Trust me, I made sure to not accept this everything we talked.

"You still planning on being a professional Quidditch player?" Dad wondered curiously.

I thought about it some. It was all I ever wanted to be since I could remember, but I didn't know how the removal of me from the team would make the recruiters think of me.

"Yeah, I guess. It is highly unlikely I'll ever get to do it though..." I sighed, as I unwrapped a chocolate frog.

"Why not? You are Captain of the team aren't you?" Our eyes made contact for a short moment, and I shook my head. "What happened James?"

"Drinking?" I said quietly. "Al's Captain now."

Dad nodded, "It's a bit cruel to replace you with your younger brother. I didn't think Professor McGonagall would ever do that. She understands rivalry."

I shrugged, "Everyone believes I deserve it, so whatever."

Dad paused, before asking, "Do you feel that you deserve it?"

_Yes._

I laughed, "Heck no. That team is going to go to the drains with Al as Captain, and I mean they can't even begin to replace me as Chaser. I am untouchable, but I guess Gryffindor has to loose eventually, right?"

Dad muttered something to himself and shook his head. "All right James."

"Well, am I right? Of course, I am right. I am the best."

I was clearly the best.

"We should rest up some, but before we do, I want you to hand me your wand." Dad spoke the words very clearly.

"W-What?" I asked. My hand automatically reached for it in my pocket.

"I'll be getting updates from Mr. Heinnings on how you are doing. When you show improvement, you may have your wand back. So hand it over." Dad reached his hand out to receive me wand.

I yanked my wand away from him.

"I can't survive without it though! You said this was a muggle town, I won't be able to survive!" I protested.

Dad chuckled, "Son, I lasted eleven years without a wand, and I ensure you that this is no where as bad as what I had to go through."

I glared at him, "That's what you think."

"James, cut it out. Just hand over your wand." Dad ordered.

"No. It's mine, not yours. So clearly you can't have it." I stated firmly.

"James, I'm being serious. Don't ruin this trip, okay? We are having a semi-good time." Dad begged.

I laughed and swatted the air. "Dad, you can't be Sirius. Sirius is dead."

Dad inhaled deeply, "James I am quite aware of who is dead, all right. Just please, give me your wand. Don't make me have to use a spell against you."

I frowned, "I believe they call that child abuse."

Dad rolled his eyes, and leveled his wand to me. "I would never use a spell to hurt you."

"That's what you want me to think."

"James, just grow up and hand me your wand."

"Like I said, no, it's mine."

"Expelliarmus." With the flick of Dad's wand, my wand flew out of my hand and landed soundly in his. He smiled and tucked both away into his back pocket. "All right then, now that's done, let's get some rest."

Did I mention I hated him?

I took a deep breath and rested my head against the cooled window; I hated the winter. I let the train's movement put me to sleep, for I wasn't able to do anything else. Dad would only throw a fit. Merlin, I hated this.

"Gerroffme." I mumbled, as someone began shaking me.

"James, we are here. Get up."

"Go away."

"No, we are at Savage Springs, put your coat on and let's go." Dad ordered, shaking me a couple more times, until I sat up.

I whipped sleep from my eyes, and stood up wearing a frown. I threw on my jacket, and mumbled, "I want breakfast."

Dad rolled his eyes, "Maybe Mrs. Heinnings would be kind enough to make you something to eat. Use your manners though."

I stuck my tongue out at him, and followed him off the train. The air was more chilled than at home, and the ground was covered with a thick layer of snow. I looked up at the tallest hill in the distance, and a feeling struck me. The message on the boarder sign made me let out a chilled gasp.

_Welcome to Savage Springs_

___The Home of the Dancing Lilies_

I glanced quickly at Dad, and asked, "Just curious, have I been here before?"

Dad smiled at me, and nodded, "Yes, once a long time ago."

"Why did you bring me back?" I frowned, as I tried to piece everything together.

Dad laughed, and began walking down a small gravel path that was lightly covered with snow. He placed an arm around me, and said, "That James, is up to you to figure out. You can't expect me to have the answers to everything."

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**Yay! I finished! That was a lot longer than I had planned, but I enjoy the ending. I am sorry if there is mistakes that you feel are there. I just finished this at three in the morning. 3:03am to be exact. I rather enjoy this chapter. Next chapter is when things start piecing together, and I 'm really excited to write about it. I hope there isn't too many errors in this piece.**

**Please review, reviews really do keep me going.**

**Questions to answer, if you would like:**

**1. Did you like it?**

**2. If you would change one thing about it, what would you change?**

**3. How do you wnjoy the progression of this story?**

**4. What do you enjoy most of this story, and why?**

**5. Who do you hate most of this story, and why?**

**6. How do you like my writting style?**

**I will try to make the next update soon. Thanks for all the kind reviews from everyone. (:**

**-randomgirloutthere110**


	8. Chapter 7: Famillar Face Part 1

**James has finally made it to Savage Springs, now the story can start to pick up. I'm debating about if I should throw in some action, or just leave it as a love story type of thing? Comment to tell me what you think please, because I have a few chapters before any mystery jumps into the plot. :) I have to figure out all of that real quick first, anyhow. Anyway, how about I shut up and just get on with the story?**

**Remember Read & Review makes me love you 3**

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Dad led the way into the main train station as quick as he could. Everytime I exhaled, a puff of a warm, misted cloud appeared. I bet that was the reason why Dad rushed into some-what rundown station. Though it came to my realization that it was almost as cold inside as it was outside, by the time we stepped inside the dead business station. Dad looked around, and nodded at the male at the ticket booth, he returned a generous smile. I pulled my jacket tighter to me, hoping that it would conceal the heat better. Dad stopped and looked around the room, as though he had lost something. I waited curiously behind him, not wanting to cause a fight in the middle of the place. I knew if Dad spoke a word to me that I would immediately try to protest. Beast James was not thrilled to be in the colder weather.

Even though I tried my hardest to avoid Dad, he turned to me wearing a grin. He placed a hand on my shoulder and laughed lightly, "Oh, I should have known Yanley,"

I gave him an confused looked.

Dad smiled wider, "Mr. Heinnings," He corrected himself, which I nodded to, before carrying on, "Would be late to meet us. There has not been a time when he wasn't late. He was the first person your mother and I met as a married couple. We stayed in their house during our honeymoon."

I raised my eyebrow, "You can to a stupid, rundown place like this for your honeymoon?"

Dad nodded with a silly smile on his face, and led me over to a wooden bench. I was halfway cautious for splinters before sitting down next to him.

"I offered to take your mother to Albania forest, a place where she had been dying to go for years. I was going to rent out the honeymoon suite in the Hawkins Hotel that was located right in the middle of PlanningBerry, which is located on the edge of the forest. She protested and said that she wanted to get away from the public eye. She said the last thing she wanted was to read about her honeymoon in the Daily Prophet everyday. Your Grandmum told us about this little village here where the Daily Prophet reporters did not dare to show up at. Sure, a couple of people noticed us, but they remained silent that we were there. Mr. Heinnings was running a bed and breakfast, and we stayed there. Our days here couldn't have ever gotten better..."

Dad seemed to drift off into some kind of place that I couldn't reach. His emerald eyes glossed over with this silkily shine that let me understand his mind. I wasn't positive of how I felt about the conversation. In a way, it gave me a feeling of relaxation and peace, but in another way, I hated it. I hated his words, his voice, the message, the meaning, the feeling it gave me, and every word he spoke. It disgusted me, for it was a tale of a fable. It was a story of love. Dad and Mum were fools to fall for that sinister joke.

"Do they have heat in this place?" I wondered hopefully. My teeth chattered as I spoke.

This made Dad seem to jump back to present time, and shook his head, "I'm afraid the best heat you'll find here is the fire in a fireplace, which means you'll have to find one of those first."

My jaw dropped, "T-They have electricity though, right?"

Dad shook his head once again to answer my question. I stood up in fury.

"But this is a muggle town! Muggles can't live without electricity!" I yelled.

Dad stood up along with me, "Actually, this is,"

"A squib town." A young woman spoke from behind me. I turned around to meet her face. She seemed familiar, where have I seen her before? I thought back through the many girls that I had been with in my past, she had to belong to one of the faces, right? I must have ran into her when I was visiting muggle London. That had to be it, it was the only reasonable explanation why she looked so familiar. Perhaps, she just had a similar look to another as well. One of the two had to be it.

Dad greeted the girl with a smile, and gave her a friendly hug. "How have you've been, Suzie?" Dad broke apart from the hug, and stared at her for a moment, before saying, "You still okay with being called Suzie? Last time I saw you, you were still in pigtails." Dad commented.

She giggled, and replied, "Oh, you know Mr. Potter,"

"Harry." Dad corrected.

"Harry," She smiled, "You are allowed to call me anything you want. Normally, I'd fight to have people call me Susanna, but I'll let you call me Suzie."

Dad laughed, "Well, I feel quite honored."

"Well, you should." She smiled brightly. She then turned to me, and tilted her head to the side. She studied me for a moment, before saying, "Man, James, you've grown well. Last time I saw you, you were just a small squirt." She reached up playfully and ruffled my hair.

I groaned, and jumped back. I quickly ran my hand threw it to make sure it stayed in some-what place. I couldn't ask for much, I had inherited my Dad's uncontrollable hair. I frowned at her, and snapped, "What the hell do you think you are doing?"

Her silver eyes grew big, and her hand retreated. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me bloody right." I growled, as I sent her a glare.

"I was only joking around. You didn't have to mouth at me, I was just trying to bring back the old times." She spoke, as she was a bit offended.

Dad stepped between us, and turned to Susanna.

"You'll have to excuse James' behavior. You see, that is what landed him here in the first place. I brought him back here to see if we can get in touch with the real James again. It was either this, or he was on the verge of being expelled from school."

I sent him a confused look, "W-What?"

Dad bit his lip, "Did I forget to tell you about that part of this?"

I nodded once, "Kind of."

Dad laughed, and made some kind of a weird hand motion. "Well, now you know."

I glared. I wasn't enjoying any part of this visit at all. I crossed my arms across my chest and leaned against a wall. My foot tapped rhythmically, as Dad and Susanna began catching up with each other again. This was not how I wanted everything to go. I wasn't as cold as numb now. There wasn't a body part of mine that didn't tingle or feel boneless. I rested my head against the wall, and begged that I somehow ended up in front of a fireplace soon.

"So Teddy finally with Victoire?" Suzie asked with a cheeky grin.

"Most certainly." Dad mentioned.

She grinned, "I was wondering when that would happen."

"It's actually nearly been six years now."

"Oho, really. I'm glad. He was so fond of her when you all were here to visit a while back."

Dad nodded, "Four years later he got up the courage to ask her out."

She nodded, "Thanks wonderful! Tell them I'm glad for them."

"I'll be sure to tell him when I get back home." Dad said.

I coughed loudly, wondering whether they had forgotten about me... Wait, no one could forget me. I was James Sirius Potter, and I was more amazing than they were in their wildest dreams.

"Oh, James! You are shivering! We should probably start the trip back to the cottage." Susanna smiled at me. "Yes, Harry, Granddad is busy, and sent me to fetch James instead."

Dad looked down. "Oh, okay. I was rather hoping to talk to him before I left."

Her eyes lit up with a bright sparkle, as she said, "Oh, he'd love to see you too. How about you come over for a bit of tea? He should be done with what he is doing by the time we get back. He is with," She looked over at me, then at the floor, "A counseling session."

Dad seemed to fill in the blank and asked, "How she doing?"

She laughed, and shook her head, "Oh, don't even get me started." She turned sharply on her heel, and led the way out of the station and down a gravel path that was lightly covered with snow. Dad was at her side, and I followed behind them. I just listened into the conversation, I didn't feel up to speaking much. This place gave me a bad feeling, and I knew that it was going to get worse. I wasn't sure how, or why, but there was no escaping the bad days that were approaching.

"How oblivious?" She wandered.

Dad gave a light shrug, "And?"

"Completely." She mumbled, before adding, "Same page, I guess."

"Remember anything?"

She let out a small laugh, "Oh, I know it's a yes, but it's a distant memory."

"Same." Dad mumbled. He looked back at me, and smiled, "You keeping up all right?"

"Is it this bloody cold everyday here?" I grumpily asked.

Susanna nodded slightly, "Depends where you are. Luckily, our cottage has a fireplace, so we stay rather warm. It's mandatory if Granddad wants to keep his bed and breakfast."

Dad's eyes lit up, "He still runs that?"

She nodded, "I believe James is actually staying in the same room that you and Mrs. Potter stayed in while on,"

I almost threw up.

"I'm not staying in the same room as they did! They fucked in it! That's disgusting! Hell no! I'm not going anywhere near it!" I gagged thinking about it.

"Language."

Susanna laughed, "I didn't mean on their honeymoon, James! I meant on the family trip you lot took a while back!" She frowned, and turned back to me. "Just giving you a warning, but if Granddad or Grandmum hears you talk like that, they will beat you until you are blue."

I rolled my eyes, "They'd be arrested."

She shrugged, "All right, I may have exaggerated, but they will throw you out, and you can enjoy being expelled from the school that everyone of us here wish we could attend." She stated it simply, only looking back at me a few times. "You don't have any idea of how lucky you are."

I laughed, "I wouldn't say I was lucky, just extremely gifted with wonderful talents."

She groaned and mumbled to Dad.

Dad chuckled and replied, "He is _always full of himself."_

"I'm not full of myself. I just embrace the truth, and that being, how I am the best person in the entire world. If I wasn't alive, life would be dull as hell."

"Language."

"Okay, okay! I got it Dad."

"Then, improve it!"

I groaned, "I don't want to though."

"I don't honestly care." Dad snapped.

"I just don't understand what happened... Did life give you a baskets full of lemons?" Susanna pondered to me.

"What you mean?" I asked.

"How did you turn into this egotistical jerk?" She wondered.

I rolled my eyes, "Oh great! Another person who claims they know me better than I know me. How could this be? I don't even know you!" I yelled.

"James, calm down, son." Dad lay a hand on my shoulder and squeezed it.

I growled, "Oh, but she can insult me?" I stopped walking and sent her a death glare. I turned around after a moment, and began walking the other way. "I'm not going! Forget this."

"James, get back here now." Dad ordered.

"Why? To get insulated more?" I shook my head in fury.

"James, listen I'm sorry. You just got to me, okay? Your attitude can get a bit annoying, all right?" Susanne walked over to me. She turned and pointed at a small cottage at the end of the road, "We are almost there. Let's just continue, go inside, warm up, and have a nice warm cup of tea." She pleaded some.

Ha, I loved it when girls pleaded, especially when performing certain tasks.

"Fine." I mumbled unhappily. I hated not getting my way, but I knew there was no way around this. If I didn't agree, I knew Dad would write Mum for back up, and she'd murder me, before letting me return home. Either way, I was going to loose. I sighed and picked the one where I would loose a bit less.

Dad gave me a small smile. He was really trying to be nice, but I really wanted to hex him into next century. He annoyed me more than anything.

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**Okay, I know, I know that this Chapter is sooo short. But see, I shall be going camping for a bit, and so I wanted to post something before I went. I shall be writing there so Hopefully by next Sunday I will have two new Chapters up for this story and a brand new story up of Severus and Lily and James. What if Snape had his secrets like Dumbledore had his? Oho, I like that story, but I love this story. And I'm sorry if I failed you guys. I really hope you aren't mad about how short this chapter is. I tried my best and worked hard on it. 3 I love you all.**

**Please answer the questions from last chapter, and I will love you.**

**Next Chapter I swear that Seleana will come into action. Swear. I do the Unbreakable Vow!**

**Anyway, reviews make me happy and love you guys even more so please, review. 3**

**Oh, and read also, but I don't think you'd be reading this if you didn't read the story, but who knows.**

**-randomgirloutthere110 3 xD**


	9. A Quick Update Clippet From New Chapter

**I had this story on hiatus but everyday I thought about it more. It's my baby and I have to finish it. I know, many of my orginal readers have probably forgetten about this sotry and I'm sorry. I really hope all of you accept my apology. Now, I would like to say that this new Chapter will be out on Tuesday. Here is the list of things for the next three days:**

**Today: I am thinking up ideas, brainstorming, making sure they fit into the story line**

**Monday: Writing it, characterization, vocabulary**

**Tuesday: Finishing touches, proof-reading, posting.**

**I hope you all are okay with that. But to tie you over until then, here is a small clip from the next chapter. I'm not sure where it'll fit into it, but I think it's somewhere in the middle. I've had this part planned for a while. **

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My chocolate eyes scanned the area of the store. People were carelessly grabbing things off the shelves and stuffing the items in their carts. Employees all wore red vest that hanged past their pants and every shirt was tucked tightly in their pants. I felt like I had visited the past and I wasn't enjoying it at all. I always imagined the past to be amazing from all of Dad's stories but this was exactly opposite of that.

I turned my head over at Susanne. My facial expression must have looked exactly how I felt, because she burst into laughter.

"Don't like our shop?" She asked, a grin tugging on her lips.

She was really annoying- worse than Albus.

"It's so...dull..." I spoke slowly, as I absorbed everything in.

She gave me a slight nod, "It's not supposed to be fancy. It's just supposed to be stable, clean, and resourceful."

"That's fuck-"

"Hello, Susanne, will you please tell your friend about Shopping Lots rule?" An overly obese man wobbled over our way. He had a long, scruffy, brown beard and a very shiny, bald-head. I was positive that I was able to see my reflection in his scalp. I have to say that made him better looking... having my face reflecting off of his ugly one.

"Shopping Lots is family friendly. There is zero tolerance of cursing, smoking, alcohol beverages, and anything else that is harmful to children or others." Susanne stated it like she had to memorize it.

"That's fucking retarded."

"James, seriously. You don't want me to owl your parents, do you?" Susanne asked, her eyebrows raised.

I couldn't help but roll my eyes. Like that threat was really going to scare me. What could my parents do? Make me stay in hell longer. I opened my mouth to snap a reply but before I could the fat man's eyes widened and he gasped.

He pointed one of his short, fat fingers at me.

"This- This is little James Potter?"

"No dip Sher,"

"James, shut up. Please."

Oho, Susanne was getting feisty. I liked it... She wasn't that disgusting either. If she gave me some of that, then I might be able to stand her. I _might._

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**I hope you were all satisfried with this little piece from the next Chapter. I will let you know that this is right before he meets Seleana. So, YAY! I'm excited. I'm so happy that I'm starting to write this again. I've missed it so much.**

**Please review, telling me what you think, but know that this was just a quick drabble of the chapter. There will be more detail and stuff added later. It's just a little something for my readers.**

**-randomgirloutthere100**


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